Into the Silent Planet

Binding the Hands of God

2009-03-15T18:28:00.007-06:00

My monthly blog seems to be slowly becoming my yearly blog. That's going to have to change.

If you know me well enough to realize that this blogpost is coming at one of the busiest points in my semester, you may well be wondering why my writing is welling up now rather than, say, during some time when I can actually afford to be producing it. This seems to be a trend with me. Contrary to the literary ideals of Woolf and Barthes, I don't write when I have the time, the perfect space, or the monetary incentive. Neither of these normally accompany my writing; my vacations are spent with family, my Friday nights with friends, and my in-between times with good books. I don't write then. Instead, I write exactly when I don't have the time. Like now, for example: on the night before a test when I have unread readings stacked up past my ears. I'm starting to think that I should stop trying to understand my psyche.

Busy or no, this post must be written. Too much has transpired (and expired) since my last post that I can no longer delay such a communication. My thoughts since November have encompassed far too much territory to express in one post, so I will narrow my scope to a thought I had last summer which has not seen light outside a hurried discussion with one of the profound Salvos Down Under. My thought was about the nature of the Trinity.

Hold up!

Please don't be turned off from my blog because I bring up this subject. I know about the controversy that has arisen in the past year or so because of The Shack, and I want to assure you that my thought has no connection to it. I have purposely been putting off reading the novel so that I would be able to record my thought without being influenced by the mainstream discussion. I do have some vague notion that William P. Young has been criticized for making the Persons of the Godhead seem too individualistic, but that is my only knowledge of the book. Long before I had even heard of The Shack, I was inspired to think about this subject because of my good friend Daniel.

Daniel is an amazing guy: someone I respect for his crazy abilities (ranging from swing dancing to mathematical abstraction), his sincere struggle with God, and his genuine love for others. But Daniel is a Calvinist. At least, I thought he was a Calvinist. It turns out that he just knows how to argue for the validity of any position on the spot, and this quality lends him the power to render his actual beliefs inscrutable. Combined with his playful and truth-seeking disposition, his gift for rhetoric often expresses itself in refreshingly truth-revealing forms. Upon determining that my theological background was influenced by Arminianism, Daniel proceeded to adopt an opposing persona and question me on what had hitherto been the unquestioned foundations of my faith.

I should at this point make it clear that before this encounter, I had never heard of "Arminianism" and had no understanding of what it was. The idea that God gave humans freedom of choice was one that I had never considered controversial. No one I had known had ever suggested an alternate possibility, and I had accepted the idea as self-evident and undeniable. Little did I know, this position, known as Arminianism, is held by only a minority of Protestants. As my Critical Theory professor likes to say, definitions require binary oppositions; I had never needed a label for my belief in free will because I had never considered that there was an alternative. And it was this position that Daniel required me to defend.

I was floored. Here was a man I looked up to spiritually, and he was telling me that I was a mindless automaton without any say about... anything. How could I possibly respond?

The truthful answer is, not very well. In one sense, retrospectively, I'm very glad about that. The main reason I was ill-equipped to answer such a questioning was because I grew up in The Salvation Army. From its origins, The Salvation Army has purposely withdrawn from all theological debate and sacramental practice that it has not seen as integral to faith in Jesus as Saviour. The idea is that too much conflict arises from inconsequential theological debates; one should be able to accept the basic tenants and move straight into service (or even move into service before accepting the basic tenants). It's a good way of focusing on what's important. I still believe that. In any case, because I had never really attended any churches outside the denomination, I had never discovered the Calvinist-Arminian debate, and was quite mal-equipped to participate in it. All I could offer was a simple story.

The story was told me by my program director while I was working at camp. He was attempting to prepare us to answer tough questions about why we believed what we believed. The tough question of the day happened to be "Why is there sin, evil, and pain in the world?" I was shocked. I had never thought of such a question on my own, and I had no idea that this was one of the most prominent arguments against the existence of God throughout all history. All at once, the problem of pain seemed all-consumingly important, and potentially a reason to doubt everything. Fortunately or not, my faithful program director did not wait until panic had taken full force before providing me with the solution.

"Mindless automatons."

Those are the two words that stuck with me from the ensuing explanation. His actual speech was lengthier than that, but "mindless automatons" is all I really remembered. The idea was that God wants the people He has created to love Him in the way that He loves them: out of choice, not coersion. In order for us to exercise our choice, there must be another option, which is consequently dubbed 'sin'. And with that, my moral dilemma was at an end. I was soothed by an easy answer, and largely left the subject alone for several years.

Until Daniel came along. And in some confusedly jumbled way, my former program director's explanation was what I blurted out in response to Daniel's friendly provokation. Unsurprisingly, my defense did not hold up, but our mutual interest in pursuing truth did. Many conversations insued. In the course of time, we dissected the tulip, struggled with the Bible, and generally dwelt on this subject to such an extent that I think I may have partially missed out on getting to know Daniel's other wonderful attributes. We never really came to a conclusion in our searchings, but the questions we were asking changed considerably. While the initial questions centered around whether or not we have free will, the primary question eventually became what free will would look like if we had it.

This is yet another question I had never really considered. I always thought gaining knowledge was like building a house: starting with a foundation and going from there. Why is it that the further I search, the more fundamental my questions become? Whatever the reason, the pursuit of a definition of free will is an important one. It's all well and good for me to claim that I have free will, but if I don't have a definition for "free will," I might as well be saying that I have a jabberwocky.

So I started thinking. And this was my intrapersonal conversation:

"What do I mean when I say that I choose to do something?"

"Well, I guess I mean that I choose independent of God's choice. He doesn't enforce His will on mine. He chooses not to control me. "

"But He created me. He set the entire universe in motion - including my predispositions. The way He set everything up necessitates His determining of all the decisions I will ever make."

"But I make some pretty horrible decisions - ones God wouldn't want me to make, and certainly ones He wouldn't make Himself. That means that I must have made them on my own."

"But if God knows everything, He would have known how to create the world in such a way that all the decisions I would ever make would be the ones He wanted."

"Then either God doesn't know everything, or I don't have free will."

"But... but..."

And the "but... but..." was where I stalled. These are two very basic things I have always held as integral to what I believe: God is omniscient, and throughout my life, I have chosen to disobey Him. I had never seen a contridiction between these two ideas before, but now the discrepancy seemed insurmountable. I couldn't bring myself to deny either of these two tenants, but neither could I reconcile them. Knowing that something I believed must change in order for my worldview to be internally consistent, I naively attempted to solve a problem that has been debated down through the centuries by people who have had far more theological training than I. And I came up with a solution.

... but you may find it disagreeable.

It's my thought about the Trinity I told you about all those paragraphs ago. Think about the Trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Only one God, but three... Persons. I hesitate to use that term because I don't have a definition for it, and as I clued in earlier when I had no definition for "free will," words don't mean anything without definitions. I will satisfy this difficulty by vaguely defining "Persons" as "constituents." I'm still not convinced that there are only three. I mean, there could be, but I don't see any Biblical evidence for limiting the number of Persons in the Godhead to that. "Trinity" is an extra-Biblical word. But enough side-tracking.

If the preceding statements do not fall under the definition of heresy, what I'm about to suggest might - but it is a possible solution to the Calvinist-Arminian debate. At least, it's been helpful for my views on things. The problem I have with Calvinism is that in removing free will, it makes no account for evil in the world. Please correct me if I'm wrong on this; it's just that no Calvinist I've put the question to has been able to give me an answer. And my problem with Arminianism is that it doesn't provide for a logical definition of free will, because God's creation of me and His omniscience together necessitate His determination of my actions.

What if we could separate God's creation of me and his omniscience? To me, that would solve the problem. "Free will" only lacks a definition because God created me knowing how I would eventually act, and besides that, I can't accept that God would create a person knowing full well that they would reject Him and never return to Him. So here is the only solution that makes sense to me; the only option I know which allows God to remain the omniscient omnibenevolent Creator of a faulty creature like me:

Creation was the undertaking of God the Father alone. For the speck of a moment it took to create mankind, God the Father was not in communication with God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. And according to God's omnipotence, He chose of his own free will to keep God the Father from the knowledge of whether mankind would eventually turn its back on Him or not, just for one solitary moment. In that moment, God the Father created mankind. Mankind was given free will because in the act of creation, mankind's Creator did not know whether or not mankind would ultimately choose Him or not, and God remained omniscient because God the Son and God the Holy Spirit still knew about the future of mankind in that moment of mankind's creation.

You may think that this robs something of God, but I don't think it does. If God is omnipotent, He should be able to choose to limit the powers of one of the Persons within Himself. Without realizing it, I think most Christians already believe this idea. Consider when Jesus was on Earth. Was baby Jesus able to scrawl mathematical formulae on his manger? Could seven-year-old Jesus already speak all the languages that would eventually exist in the 21st century? If God did not choose to limit His own omniscience in the Person of the incarnate Son, why did Jesus pray "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me"? If God the Son knew whether or not it was possible, why would he add the words "if it is possible" to His prayer? God the Son must have chosen not to partake in all the power of God while on Earth. And if God can limit the omniscience of one of His Persons for a specified amount of time, why couldn't He do so with one of His other Persons at another time?

But this is all speculation. How do I know whether God the Father limited His omniscience while creating mankind or not? The simple answer is, I don't. The only thing I can ever claim to know is God and His love (and incidentally, I'm starting to think that the phrase "God and His love" is redundant). My purpose in this mental exercise was simply to determine whether it could possibly be consistent for me to believe what I believe: that God is infinitely powerful and good, that He is the creator of everything including me, that He gave me the freedom to choose or deny Him, and that He loves me and intensely desires to be with me. My conclusion has been... it's possible. Perhaps (or even probably) the solution I've constructed is not correct, but that doesn't really matter. The presentation of a dozen possible solutions are not required in order to establish that a set of beliefs is internally consistent; only one solution is required, whether it is true or no. The point is that these beliefs are not contradictory. Whether they are true, well, that's for you to decide.

The Most Good vs. The Most Love

2008-11-21T19:50:00.006-07:00

A photo I took at a retreat several months ago popped up on my newsfeed today because of a new comment. It depicted two guys for whom my deep respect is grossly disproportionate to the amount of time I have been given to get to know them. In looking into the eyes of those two crazy Jesus-lovers, I realized how many of my prominent thought processes this year were sparked in listening to their passions and frustrations that weekend. I was immediately saddened to recall that I did not document what was going on in my mind that weekend, and consequently, much of the origins of that part of who I am becoming has been lost to me. Such a sadness is insupportable when the means to prevent analogous future shortcomings are possessed yet unused. Thus my blogpost published in the wee-hours. Putting off to tomorrow is not acceptable four months past the due date.

I have read more books this year than I normally read, namely due to the twelve-novel English course I took at the beginning of the year. The course was a study of the decadent movement, a period when Victorian values were being rejected, moral tales were shunned as an oppressive and obsolete literary form, and all forms of self-gratification were glorified. Art combined obsurdism with overt sexuality, while the literary heros and heroines lead meaningless depressing lives or else killed themselves. You may think that such an extensive study of ideas so contrary to my worldview must have been tedious and disgusting. You would be right. While I very much enjoyed three of the works, the other nine range from unnecessarily disturbing to possibly qualifying for book burning.

Fortunately, I have found time throughout this year to suppliment my course readings with more nourishing pieces. The two books that have most profoundly shaped my thinking patterns this year are Why the Rest Hates the West by Meic Pearse and The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne. Both of these books were given to me by people I love and wish to emulate. Both of these books presented me with ideas that awoke in me a desire to live in a new and more God-glorifying way. And attempting to live my life according to both these books would approximate the experience of being tied to multiple horses running in separate directions (and may have the same effect).

Allow me to explain. I learned a lot from Meic Pearse. Why the Rest Hates the West gave me the solid foundation I needed in order to stand my ground in defending the validity of absolute truth claims against the moral pluralism and philosophical relativism which was so prevalent in my decadence course. It allowed me to be more intelligent in my criticism of western society by expanding my worldview. Most importantly, it taught me how to be more culturally sensitive with my international friends. I was also deeply inspired by Shane Claiborne. The Irresistible Revolution broke me for the poor and the outcast, and invited me to love them as Christ loved them. It called me back to my soldier's commitment to serve the lost, the last, and the least. Perhaps most significantly, it taught me how to intelligently criticize my own life before criticizing the society that surrounds me. Pearse and Claiborne are both committed Christians who fundamentally believe that life can and should be lived differently than the rest of us perceive.

But:

Meic Pearse is an elderly, conservative, established university professor and Shane Claiborne is a young, liberal, unconventional hippie. As my favourite author wrote, "How drearily alike are all the great tyrants... how gloriously different the saints!" I am continually amazed at how diverse Christian community can be, and how beautiful that diversity is. This recognition, however, does not help in my reconciliation of the two guidemaps for life provided by these two radicals. For Pearse's vision for my future would entail getting married in the near future in order to affirm the importance of family, having plenty of children in order to insure biological replacement of myself and my wife, attending university until I received my doctorate in order to be as educated as possible about the world around me, and taking up a high-paying job so that I can give as much money as possible to non-profit organizations that provide aid to the poor in third-world countries. Claiborne's vision for my future, however, would entail accepting life-long singleness so that I could be more totally devoted to the poor, dropping out of university because degrees are pretentious, giving away all my material possessions in order to free myself from worldly ties, and joining a poor inner-city community because what the poor need most is genuine relationships with people who love them. Essentially, Pearse believes that we should make the world a better place by shaping our culture and society in a way that glorifies God, while Claiborne says we're not charged with our society, and that individual relationships are what's really important. Pearse says do the things that will do the most good. Claiborne says do the things that will communicate the most love.

So which do I choose? I like Pearse's vision because I would really like to get married someday, and I would love to raise children of my own. I enjoy university, and would be content to keep studying until I received my doctorate, and finding a well-paying job would mean that I wouldn't have to move out of my financial comfort zone. Then again, I like Claiborne's vision because service to the poor rings true of my calling, and developping relationships with those in need seems like a more authentic expression of God's love than impersonal tithing from a fat wallet.

On the other hand, I don't like Pearse's vision, because endless study and middle-class life often seems too comfortable to be right and too mediocre to be Christ-like. But Claiborne's is no better. I have too much of a desire to have a romantic relationship and a family to proclaim myself celibate, and self-imposed poverty seems very difficult. Also, almost all of the Christians I know and trust live middle-class lives.

I honestly don't know what to do. The first book encouraged me in leading a life I'm comfortable with leading. The second book disturbed me too much to unquestioningly accept that life, and offered me another. Is there a middle ground that runs between the two? Would following such a middle path mean being only half-committed to God's will?

Happily, God has given me plenty more indicators of good choices than just confusing books and circular self-analysis. After His grace, forgiveness, and love, I believe the greatest gift God has given me is a wonderful supportive group of family and friends. When I switched from studying engineering to studying English, God's affirmation that it was the right choice was primarily communicated through my family and friends. I am convinced that if God wants me to make another radical change in my life, those who are close to me (and who are gifted with greater discernment than I) will make sure I make the right decision. For now, I'll just continue on with the information I have been given, straight ahead... until God decides to mess up my plans once again for His glory.

Descartes, Job, and a Girl Named Nancy

2008-06-29T14:17:00.006-06:00

Ever since Rebecca told me that her boyfriend was coming in May, I have periodically suggested to her that she may have misheard him. Instead of "I'm coming in May", he may very well have said "I'm coming in maybe". It was a lame joke, but it made me laugh. Similarly, I set a goal to write a blogpost in the month of May. In the end, Rebecca's boyfriend did come in May, but my blogpost did not. I would like to use the excuse that I said "maybe", not "May", but that would not be true. Sadly, I failed in reaching my goal last month.

But no need to dwell on past failings! Despite my increasing workload, I am setting apart enough time to right my wrongs this month. In fact, I already did so several weeks ago. The reason you not are reading that blogpost instead of this one is because I deemed the former to be far too dry for public consumption. It was an outline of my personal theory of human personality. If you happen to be interested in such a thing, let me know. Otherwise, I think it will forever remain on my unposted list (and rightly so, quite likely).

There is a question that I have been pursuing for some time now, and the pursuit has proven to be important in the develpment of my thoughts about life in general. I have discussed the question with close friends, posed the question to people I consider wise, and opened the question to public debate. I have searched for an answer in books, in reasoning, and in prayer. The question is about the nature of the Bible.

When a friend of mine questioned the authority of the Bible near the end of last summer, I realized that I had never seriously considered such a question. If the question had ever arisen before, I would mindlessly subdue it with a Bible verse that stated that the Bible is truth. In essence, my reasoning was cyclic: I believed the Bible was truth because it said it was truth. When I realized the error in my argument, I lost the grip I once had on everything I had ever believed. Put more accurately, I realized that I never had a grip on what I believed. I simply believed it.

In this way, a simple question about the reliability of the Bible removed the foundation of my beliefs, or at least something close to the foundation, and I was left to wonder if I really knew anything at all. My first conclusion, which seemed self-evident at the time, was that there must be one thing that I could never deny by which I can reason other things. In order to prove anything, something must first be known. In order to know that first thing, something else must be known in order to prove it. Essentially, I realized that I must believe one thing for which I can provide no proof. In this way, I might be able to prove other things, and, in so doing, begin a quest for knowledge.

And so I was faced with the difficulty of determining which one fact must be my starting point. I considered, among other things, my own existence. After deliberating over the possibilities for some time, I concluded that I could not freely choose the 'starting point fact' at all. No matter what I chose for my starting point, that fact would remain my starting point forever; I could never call it into question, because it would always remain the one fact which required no proof. Meditating on this thought made me realize that my 'starting point fact' was chosen when I was born, or else when I first thought my first thought. It was the basis for which I was able to call things into doubt at all, and it was also the foundation for all the knowledge I ever gathered, though I had never thought long enough about it to realize it.

Having determined that I could not choose my 'starting point fact' because that it had already been chosen for me, I attempted to discover what it was. If I could be certain of nothing else, there must be one thing that I would still believe, independent of any proof. My immediate response was that Love must exist. My knowledge of Love as an entity was (and is) too real to doubt.

I must stipulate here what I mean by the term "love". The term has been much maligned in various cases, and numerous definitions have been attributed to it. Perhaps the most depressing usage of the word is when it is a synonym of "attraction". Attraction is a wonderful thing, but it is such a separate concept from the most important definition of love that to use the same word to describe both seems ludicrous. Neither am I referring to the emotion that is often called love, which could alternatively be phrased "the enjoyment of". When I normally use the word "love", I am using the following definition, as written by CS Lewis: "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained." Now take this definition of love, and imagine it as an entity in its fullest and purest form. If I'm right, you won't even have to think that far. The image of that entity is so impressed upon my soul (and, as I now believe, on every soul) that I would have to deny my own existence before I could deny that it exists. I call it God.

This is what I mean when I say that I don't believe in athiests (and Melissa laughs). Because my mind seemed able to call everything into doubt except for God, I determined that He must be my starting point for the re-establishment of my body of knowledge. Daniel was later to tell me that the philosophical term for this 'starting point fact' for which I can have no proof is "axiom".

I was satisfied with my axiom because it was singular and I could not question it. My subsequent thoughts remained less systematic for a long time, namely because my initial troubling question was not about the existence of myself or my surroundings, but rather about whether I was leading a proper life. For all you philosophically-savvy readers out there, I was not seriously asking an ontological question at this point. For the time being, I more-or-less assumed that my belief in God justified my believe in the existence of myself and the rest of the universe. It was not until I took a philosophy course three semesters later that I wrote a formal proof that God must be my axiom and that my existence and ability to reason all other knowledge must necessarily follow from that axiom.

Ignorant of my far-off future philosophical treatise, my thoughts then turned back to the reliability of the teachings found in the Bible. If I lived my life according to Biblical standards, would I be living the life I should be leading? Was the pursuit of God's purposes and the development of my relationship with Him the proper focus of my existence? The longer I struggled with this concept, the deeper my questions dug, even to the point of my questioning the reality of my relationship with God. These questions became supremely important to me, namely because I considered my relationship with God the most important aspect of my life.

I began asking these questions to others. One of the first answers I received was something to the effect of "The loving God I know intimately is clearly found within the pages of the Bible." This was true; the depiction of God in the Bible did seem consistent with my foreknowledge of God. Still, the Bible said that God did a lot of things I didn't understand. Also, I knew of plenty of other books whose depictions of God were also consistent with my foreknowledge of Him. While most of these books were based on the Bible or were at least written by people who believed in the truth of the Bible, I could not see any reason for believing the Bible to be more truthful than, for instance, "The Purpose Driven Life." People often say that books present truth, but only the Bible is Truth. How is "being truth" different from "presenting truth"? There must be a difference, or else I could call "The Purpose-Driven Life" Truth.

In this way, my question switched from being "Is the Bible true?" to "In what sense is the Bible Truth?" I had rephrased the question for three reasons:

1) I had accepted that the Bible was at least true in some sense. If it was true in no other way, it was at least true in that it states that God exists.

2) I knew of other sources that were similarly at least true in some sense.

3) I wanted to determine whether or not (and how) the Bible being true is different from other sources being true.

So I began to ask people who believed that the Bible is truth what they meant by that. I posted the question on my Facebook profile page. I asked my Bible study leader and fellow students. I even sent the question to an online Christian magazine.

A pattern started to emerge. Almost every time I asked someone this question, they would bring up the allegory-versus-literal question with examples like seven-day creation and Noah's world-wide flood. But that wasn't the question I was asking. Some parts of the Bible are obviously allegorical, such as Jesus' parables. I have never heard anyone claim that they are literal. On the other hand, some parts of the Bible are obviously literal. The existence of a historical Jesus, for example, is not seriously doubted by the vast majority of non-Christian historians and scholars. The statement that the Bible is either allegorical or literal was too simplistic to be helpful.

I began listing specifics: Why are the genealogies of Jesus in Matthew and Luke different? Is the order of events in the gospels strictly accurate or used as a literary device? Are the dialogues and monologues exactly what the historical people said or are they summaries of a general concept expressed by their lives? Are the things that Paul tells his specific audiences to do absolute moral truths that we should all live by? Essentially, what does it mean to call the Bible Truth?

This is the question I wrestled with for a long time. Neither my Bible study leader, nor my friends, nor the online magazine ever got back to me with a satisfactory answer, but many told me that they would pray for me. Interestingly, some of them said that they would pray that God would give me the answer to my question, while others said that they would pray that He would help me through this period of doubt.

Because I was not getting an answer from my discussions with others (and because I thought I would annoy them if I brought it up anymore), I stopped asking people whether or not they thought the Bible was Truth and started asking God the question instead. You might think that this is the obvious turning point in the story. Once I brought the question to God, the answer must have seemed clear, right? It's the promise God made to Jeremiah: "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."

As Natalie is apt to say, no dice. I began reading through the book of Job, hoping that his struggle with God would help me with mine. I read one chapter each night, each time bookending the reading with the prayer that God would teach me what the Bible was. He didn't tell me. Some nights, I would wait up for a while after I had read my chapter and listen intently to the silence. His voice was not on the whisper in the wind. In time, I finished the last chapter in the book of Job, and while I had learned plenty of things along the way, I felt no closer to having an answer to my question of Biblical truth.

I took a break. Several weeks passed, and there were no developments. Then one night, I was invited over to the Williams' house for a casual group get-together. After several rowdy games of Smash Brothers and James Bond, someone's estrogen attempted to burst free from the night of testosterone endulgence with the suggestion that we watch "Enchanted". Somehow, the bill was passed, the video games were put away, and we spent the rest of the night watching princesses and frills dancing across the screen.

Needless to say, I was not at this time dwelling upon the deeper epistemological questions of life. I was not petitioning God; I was passively watching a movie. It wasn't even like I was watching a profound movie like "The Matrix" which might have raised questions about the meaning of life. Quite the opposite: I do not hesitate to say that "Enchanted" is the lightest, sappiest, girliest film it has ever been my experience to encounter. And this was the medium by which God chose to speak to me.

If you haven't seen the film, this is the general premise: a fairytale princess is thrust into the real-world city of New York. A man reluctantly takes care of her in her distress, is discovered in an innocent but compromising-looking situation with the 'princess' by his fiance, Nancy, and Nancy becomes quite angry and leaves. In a show-stopping number, the fairytale princess sends a gift to Nancy on the man's behalf, and upon receiving the gift, Nancy forgives the man, saying "If you say nothing happened, nothing happened. I trust you."

My two favorite images that express my relationship with Jesus are brokenness and freefall. Both images were particularly evident to me in the moment I heard that line. I was broken because I realized that, no matter how much I try to put God in a box so that I can label the things He does, He is never contained and therefore often does things in a completely new and unexpected way. I spent weeks reading the book of Job and searching for God's voice, and after all that, God decides to speak to me through a sappy line in a girly movie like "Enchanted"? I love my God. His message was for me to freefall: not to abandon my questions or ability to reason, but to trust that He will grant me the discernment and wisdom to understand what He wants me to understand if I seek Him in everything. That's why I say 'grace' over movies and television shows before I watch them (thanks for the idea, Mara).

And so, I will trust the Bible as the only explicit guide to life that God has presented to me. While many of the other questions that I posed are still left to be answered, I do not believe that God would be satisfied with my struggle with Him if I stopped searching for the answers now.

Surrender

2008-04-30T07:05:00.006-06:00

I would like to take this opportunity to express both my apologies and my appreciation to any readers who have periodically been checking this site in hopes of finding a new blogpost over the past year. You have been faithful when I have been faithless.

The goal that I had set nearly two years ago was to write at least one blogpost a month. My last post was in March. The month after March is April. Guess what month it is now? April! And the last day of the month, no less. As Mara would say, I just squeezed under the wire once again... in a sense.

There has been so much going on this year that one blogpost could hardly approach all I want to express. Rambling about my trip to Zimbabwe could constitute several posts in itself. Nevertheless, I must satisfy myself with a sweeping summary of the year's trials and adventures. In fact, to do the story any justice at all, I need to go back at least five years.

It was my last year of high school. I liked my math courses, so I decided that I wanted to be an engineer.

No, I did well in my science courses and decided that I could be successful as an engineer.

Umm... the engineering program included paid work terms and I figured God could use more engineers?

OK, you got me. I really have no idea why I went into the engineering program. Perhaps it was because my English teachers refused to give me 100% on anything no matter how hard I tried. Perhaps it was because I thought it would please my parents if I went into a high-paying career. I don't know. I don't even know if that initial decision was a mistake. What I do know, however, is that God would never be silent on an earnest a prayer unless He had reason. I think my prayer went something like this:

Dear God,

I have to make an important decision about my future real soon. I have to choose the career that will define the rest of my life, and I have to decide in the next few days. I've been praying about this a lot, but the only thing I feel like you might be calling me to is missions work, and there are plenty of degrees that can lead to that. Unless you tell me to do something soon, I'm going to go into engineering. I know I often don't listen to you very well, so if engineering isn't what you want me to do, please make me fail out so I won't have to make the choice myself.

Your son,
David

Writing letters to God is fun. If you've never done it, you should try it sometime. Please note how urgent and life-binding I thought my university decision to be. I try to recall this troubled mindset whenever I need to summon compassion for a first-year. It is the second last sentence in this particular prayer that gives me pause whenever I want to say that going into engineering was a mistake. It is the last sentence of this prayer that I tried to forget when I came out of my fourth year of engineering having failed a course.

It was a stupid course! It was taught poorly! My work wasn't properly graded! These were my excuses, and while I still believe some of them to be valid, they were attempts to ignore my four-year-old prayer. I had failed a course that, beyond reasonable doubt, I should not have failed. Before going on my three-month work term in Zimbabwe, I, like Gideon, decided to put out a fleece; the supplimentary exam. When I came back from Zimbabwe, I studied diligently for the last full month of the summer, wrote the supplimentary exam, and failed once again. The conclusion should have been inescapable. Sadly, pride is a master escape artist.

My subsequent plan was moreso a product of practicality than obedience. I had to wait another semester before I could take the course again, so, not wanting to waste my time, I started a second degree. In an elaborate plan, I determined to transform the added year in my engineering degree into an opportunity to complete two degrees in the same timeframe: one civil engineering degree and one English degree with a French minor. Rather than doing a six-year degree in seven years, I would have both a six-year degree and a four-year degree in seven years. It was like the "worn and loved" teddy bear I sewed together in junior high that had the stitching on the outside; I took a mistake and made it look intentional. I was trying to save face while losing sight of His face.

He didn't abandon me. When I shut my eyes as tight as I could and asked my God to let me see, He did not give up on me. My life is nothing if not a testament to the faithfulness of my Lord.

I was unwilling to leave my engineering degree unfinished, even though I didn't enjoy the courses and knew it wasn't what I should be doing with my life. With this mindset, I spent my open semester taking Arts courses: English, French, linguistics, and religious studies. It was amazing. I had a wonderful semester, better than any semester I ever had at the university; I wanted to discuss the course content with my professors; I spent my free time doing extra reading into the material; I looked forward to writing finals, not because I wanted the semester to be over, but because it was a chance to express what I had learned. It was beautiful. Still, I retook the engineering course the following semester. I'm sad to say that it wasn't until the last month of the semester that I acknowledged what I already knew; I wasn't supposed to be doing engineering. There was a reason that my reaction to my English courses was so drastically different from my reaction to the engineering courses, and it was more than ability or personal preference.

Deciding to drop engineering and switch fully into English was one of the most difficult and drawn-out decisions I have ever made. Thankfully, I have received plenty of confirmation that I did the right thing. Many people who know me well have told me that English seems right for me and engineering does not. I had expected at least some negative reactions to my decision, but I have only encountered two: one from a fellow engineering student who was sad to see me go, and the other from a professor who, after hearing more of my story, encouraged me more than anyone that I was doing the right thing. In these days, I am realizing how important it is to have close friends who know my heartsong. I forget it all too often.

Speaking of my heartsong, a good friend of mine reminded me of another verse a few nights ago: the part about missions. Sometimes I think the only reason God let me stay in the engineering program until my fourth year before telling me to switch was because that was exactly how long I needed to stay in order experience a work term in Zimbabwe. Most of the time, I remember that He gave me so many other opportunities for growth while I was in engineering as well. I learned about a lot more than just engineering concepts over those four years, and He knew I would. So was a three-month stint in Zimbabwe the fulfillment of my passion for missions? I ask myself that question sometimes. I ask because the future I envision doesn't seem to take missions into account.

My current plan is to continue on with my English studies into a masters and a PhD so that I can teach English at a university. Maybe that's what I should do with my life. Maybe my life will always be a, "constant realign under [His] love devine". I know that worry is the antithesis of trust, I try to remember that any plan I could come up with on my own could never work, and I believe in a God who needs no help with the planning. I require no more reasons than these to attempt to surrender more to Him each day.

So here I lay both my brokenness and my joy. Do with them what you will. With this post, I take up my goal of at-least-monthly blogging once again. I expect you to hold me to it.

Purity, Chivalry, and Honesty

2007-03-31T19:18:00.000-06:00

Another month has drawn to a close, and I am nearer to my monthly blog post deadline than I have ever been. This has been another busy month for me. It seems that my standard response to new tasks and opportunities has become "I'll have to do that in August". Oh August; that month of semi-perpetual freedom that stretches between work term and university. Although that is theoretically the next time my life will become relaxed, I am not looking forward to it at the expense of the present... or nearer future.

The month of March has been full of study, but as my uncle Kerry likes to remind me, a jar full of rocks is not a full jar. The spaces between the rocks have been filled with many beautiful pebbles; evenings watching Green Acres with my family, intriguing conversations with permanent fixtures at the UC, reunions with Twi'leks and humans, and even some good clothes shopping. I've enjoyed Bible studies at Steve Noseworthy's house, had some amazing SNACs with more amazing friends, and savoured some sweet car rides. Purity has been sought, found, and debated (courtesy of The Muse), SASF hierarchies have risen and fallen, and the important questions of life have battled the desperate questions, as they always have.

This was the first year that the youth group decided to have two chivalry nights instead of one. That way, there was more time for each group to prepare. If you have never heard of chivalry night, allow me to explain. The idea of chivalry night is that the males in the youth group prepare a meal and entertainment for the females, while the females do the same for the males. One group presents what they have prepared and then the other group presents theirs. After everyone is finished, a 'winning' gender is chosen by a neutral party - generally Valerie, our youth pastor. Still, the validity of this claim could be contested with the simple suggestion that those who receive the best meal and entertainment are the real winners. In my opinion, the females were the most chivalrous this time around. Michelle's kisses were sweet (and thoughtful), Allison's wings were heavenly (oh Steve), and Laura's poetry was touching (even if she thinks I'm old!). If any Temple youth group females are reading this - thank you!

This has been a great month of rediscovering joy. In a Mara colloquialism, allow me to explain what I don't mean. I don't mean that I have been happier this month than I was last month. I haven't been. I don't mean that I had forgotten the wonderful blessings God has graciously bestowed upon me. I hadn't. What I mean is that I trust God.

If you had asked me a month ago about that for which I most needed prayer (and if you could phrase your question as grammatically questionable as I just did), I would have told you that I had divine trust issues. Trusting God isn't as easy a thing as it might seem. I can't trust God by simply telling Him that I do, or even attempting to live like I do. It's not like entrusting - that's a lot easier. I can entrust God with my money by tithing. I can entrust God with my emotions by not getting attached to what isn't Planned for me. I can entrust God with my education by studying hard and attending class. But to trust God, I have to do a whole lot more. I have to give Him the worry I harbour about the money I no longer have, the anxiety I hold about the things that aren't in his Plan, and the stress that eats away at me about the grades I'm not getting.

I do. Praise God, I trust Him. He gives me all the strength and mercy I need to do so. This is my one and only boast, and I proclaim it with all the joy with which He floods me.

Claiming my Window

2007-02-14T12:50:00.000-07:00

Happy Valentine's Day! I realize that this post will be up for longer than February 14th, but I'm continuing on a long family tradition of wishing people random celebratory salutations on normally non-celebratory occasions. I'm excited today because I got two - count them... one, two - two unexpected valentines. I also got two pretend valentines by e-mail.

If you're a friend of mine and you think I've been avoiding you recently, I haven't been. I would love to contact you. Unfortunately, my professors at the university have taken me hostage and I'm unable to contact the outside world.

"Well, how are you writing a blog post?" says you.

I'm glad you asked. It all started this morning when Mom and I forgot to go to the travel clinic up until fifteen minutes before our appointment. Considering it takes half an hour to get to the travel clinic and I hadn't eaten breakfast or packed my bookbag, we were quite late. I quickly crammed my bookbag full of the first school-related items I saw, shoved in my toiletries along with them, and ran out the door. I ate breakfast on the way. When we got to the clinic, three wonderful things happened:

1) We didn't miss our appointment.
2) We got free Canadian flag pins.
3) We were informed that I didn't have to get a needle!

It is a beautiful thing when joy comes in the form of an absent needle. The travel clinic consultant was a very animated woman who had a wide smile and even wider hand gestures. I mean, this girl could compete with Steph Duhammel (whose blog, by the way, is difficult to link to as it is on paper). Anywho, the consultant explained about all the pills, ointments, drinks, and precautions we will have to take before, during, and after our trip to Zimbabwe. Suffice it to say that it's a lot of stuff to do in order to stay healthy.

"Why are you going to Zimbabwe, David?"

An excellent question! I am going to Zimbabwe as part of my undergraduate engineering program. I will be there for three months during which I will be staying with Dawn Howse, an amazing woman who is serving in The Salvation Army as the only medical doctor in the village of Tshelanyemba. She grew up in Newfoundland at my home corps, and I know a lot of her family. I grew up hearing stories about her work overseas and seeing her presentations about it when she came back during summers. I feel so honoured to have the opportunity to go and visit her in Africa. I've never been outside the continent, so this is a first for me in a lot of ways. Dawn has a bridge feasibility study she would like me to perform. I still need to work out logistics, but things have been working out well so far. I'm really looking forward to learning from Dawn. Apparently she's going to teach me to bake bread. I'll be staying in Tshelanyemba for the three months following this semester (over the summer). During the last three weeks of my stay, a missions team made up of Salvationists from St. John's and Montreal will be going to Tshelanyemba. A bunch of my friends are going to be participating in the missions trip, including my mom and my youth pastor. It will be good to have them sharing in the experience with me.

"So what does all this have to do with your inability to contact the outside world?"

Thanks for keeping me on track. You've been a great audience. When Mom and I were finished at the travel clinic, Mom dropped me off at the university. While there, I shaved in the university centre bathroom, attended my classes, finished a project, played golf in the cafeteria, attended a tutorial, and then sat down to study for my three huge exams coming up within the next few days. In order to begin studying, I lifted up my pencil case and thought, "This seems lighter". I then proceeded to open the pencil case and, to my great surprise, discovered an immense lack of calculator. Upon this discovery, I used a considerable amount of time perusing the university persuing my calculator. Having no success in this effort, I called home to ask my brother if he knew where it was... and he found it. Joy also comes in the form of present calculators. Although I was elated at the prospect of being reunited with my calculator, I was left with one more hour at the university. Having no calculator with which to study, I was given a brief window of opportunity with which to contact the outside world in the form of a blog post... and I took it.

And now, I leave to leap beneath the waves which would o'erwhelm my soul with concrete I-beams and iterative eigenvalues. See the dislodged beatitude of James 1 to find my joy throughout the storm. It's not an absent needle.

According to Plan

2007-01-14T13:24:00.000-07:00

I was right when I wrote at the end of my last post that there was a lot to look forward to. The past month has been a whirlwind of events. With few exceptions, everything has been going wonderfully. It may not be going the way I planned it, but it's all still going according to The Plan, and that's all that matters.

My last days in Calgary were fun, although it was a busy time for most of my friends there, so I wasn't able to say goodbye to most of them. On the flight to Toronto, I sat next to a girl who was nervous about flying alone. She talked to me the entire flight, to keep her mind off being in an airplane I think, and when we landed, she followed me around until she needed to catch her connecting flight. It felt really good to be able to make someone feel safe for a while.

My flight home was spent watching Cars. That movie is well-made. I loved the bloopers. When I arrived in St. John's, I was overjoyed to find my mom, my brother, Zach, Steph, and Cathy waiting in the airport to greet me. It was especially good to have Zach and Stephanie there because I've never had friends waiting for me in the airport before. It was a beautiful gift.

The week that followed was a busy and enjoyable one. It was filled mainly with buying, making, giving, and receiving gifts for birthdays and for Christmas. I went to see Night at the Museum with a group of old high school friends I make a point of seeing at least once a semester. It was especially good to spend time with Timothy. It was a short oasis when neither of us had commitments, we were both in the same province, and we could just play video games together. Life should be filled with more of those times.

Christmas day was a lot of fun. I think we received enough DVD box sets to last us until the Second Coming. I discovered that my family has been sucked into two more television series while I was in Calgary - Jericho and NUMB3RS. Apparently, I need to watch eleven episodes of Jericho and six episodes of Lost before February in order to maintain my membership in the family (or at least my freedom to eat supper with them).

Two days after Christmas, I headed off to St. Louis to attend Urbana. I had never been to Missouri before, but I attended Urbana back in 2003. My experience this time around was much different than my first. When Urbana started in the 1940's, it was held in Toronto, but it has been held in Urbana, Illinois ever since then. In 2003, the conference outgrew the location, and so the conference was moved to St. Louis this year. They decided to keep the name "Urbana", even though it's not held in that town anymore. It's too well-known a conference to change the name, I suppose.

All in all, I liked the new location better. There was much more room in the stadium, it was easier to get around, and the Gateway Arch is within walking distance. Zach and I took an afternoon to admire the Arch and pretend to be photographers. Our results were fairly convincing, if I do say so myself. The only two negative aspects I could discover that resulted from the location change were the price and the housing. The price went up because the stadium cost more to rent. This was not so much reflected in the cost of attending the conference but rather in the quality and quantity of meals. Lunches were not provided and suppers were scanty (except the last one). The housing was in hotels, which was only a negative in the sense that they cost extra and that the breakfasts consisted solely of donuts and greasy muffins. Almost all the Salvationists were in the same hotel. It was wonderful to be a part of that brief community. I met a lot of great people.

There were only six Canadian male Salvationists attending the conference, so we pretty much stuck together the entire time. Of the six, two of us were from Newfoundland (Zach Hynes and I), three were from Ontario (Matt Kean, Dave Ivany, and Nathanael Homewood), and one was from Winnipeg (Edi Mutambo). Zach is an even better soundboard than he is soundtech, and that's saying something. He's also a super close friend, so it was amazing to have him there. As soon as I saw Matt, I knew he was Daniel's brother. They look, talk, and act more similarly than any two people I know. Their mannerisms are identical. Even their sense of humour is the same. I really appreciated his openness throughout the week. It was good to connect with Dave again (he likes the word 'connect'). Dave makes a point of getting to know people and bringing people together, and he does a lot more than he admits to. It was very interesting and enjoyable to hang out with Nathanael. He's the first lay DY in the country, and it seems like he's doing a great job... when he's not throwing random objects at girls, that is. He has some good ideas and awesome interpersonal skills. Seriously. Last but not least, Edi "the man" Thanksgiving. His last name means thanksgiving, and it's obvious to anyone who meets him that he's the man. Such tact and style! It must be a Nigerian thing. Anyway, the six of us held a small group each night to discuss what we'd been learning and how we'd been growing. I've never had such an amazing bond with such amazing guys before. It was a huge componant of my week.

During Urbana, all the Salvationists got together at a local corps for a kindred session. It ran all morning, and it was awesome and awe-filled. Collette Webster organized the session, and she did a really good job. I have a feeling that had she not gotten involved, I would have had a very different experience at Urbana (thanks, Collette!). The worship team that performed was called "The Singing Company", and it was a really cool group. They were a bunch of teens and tweens with guitars, a drumkit, and a tambourine. They sang songs from the red song book, but as if they were contemporary worship choruses. I had never realized that there was so much great poetry and depth of insight in the song book before! We all got free CD's called "The Red Book Sessions" that were made by the band. That CD has become one of my favorites. We also all got sweet scarves with "Sally Ann" embroydered on them. They were made by former prostitutes and recovering alcoholics in Bangladesh.

The worship at Urbana was beyond words, the community was beautiful, the Bible studies were intense, and the messages were poignant. The drama wasn't nearly as funny as three years ago, but it was ten times as thought-provoking. A lot of important and difficult issues were discussed, and I was given a lot of information that I hope will be useful. I attended sessions on French Africa and the African diaspora. I bought and received books about Islam, postmodernism, and anti-Americanism. It was a thick week, consisting of a whole lot of good experiences but very little time to process it. Leanne told me it would be overload.

On my way back from Urbana, I didn't watch movies. I slept solid the entire time.

My original plan was to visit Leanne and Dallas in Ontario on the way back from Urbana. I was supposed to stay with them for five days, and I was really looking forward to the time to catch up. On the last day of Urbana, I got a phone call from my mom. She told me that Leanne was pregnant! Unfortunately, it runs in her family to get sick during the first trimester, so she was in no shape to be entertaining guests. There was a bit of a scramble, but in the end, the flights were rearranged so that I could go straight to Newfoundland. I was sad to miss out on visiting Leanne and Dallas, but I'm excited for their baby. Please pray that the baby will be born healthy and good.

Since I have been back, university has started up again. My courses look good so far, and my professor line-up is looking good too. I'm glad to have a 'regular' semester again. I haven't been at the university for a year except for the summer semester when very few people are around. Now, I see so many friends around it's crazy. That's an aspect of this semester I'm really enjoying. I have also started going to a Bible study led by Betty Cunningham that I'm quite excited about.

If you've stayed with me thus far, I must say I'm impressed. I was starting to think that this blog post was like the document about which Winston Churchill once said "This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of ever being read." There is so much more I could say about what I have been doing, learning, and thinking about, but at some point writing about life gets in the way of living it. I'll be back next month.

To Invest a Marshmallow

2006-12-14T14:41:00.000-07:00

My life has finally slowed down to take a breath. For the past month, I've been uber busy with three things: my work term report, the Christmas play, and my distance course. It is with great delight that I declare that all three have been completed, and I feel good about them all.

My work term report was about steel sections. I won't go into details (I was sworn to secrecy), but suffice it to say that it was interesting, educational, and hopefully even a contribution to the company.

The Christmas play turned out really well. Memorizing all those lines was harder than I thought! Peter did a great job writing it, even though we did some re-writes in some places. I really enjoyed "fighting" with Allison - I was acting opposite her. She was playing a thirty-year-old taxi driver named Jen and I was playing a thirty-year-old university researcher named James. The idea of the story was that we went to Sunday school together as kids, but hadn't seen each other in years. I get a ride to church in her taxi, and it's a while before we realize that we knew each other as kids. I've "become quite involved in the church" and she thinks "the Christmas story is just too far fetched to be real". I spend the entire taxi ride telling her the Christmas story as it is told in the Bible rather than the Sunday school version she remembers. The scenes of the two of us in the cab alternate with scenes of Mary and Joey (Peter and Amanda) acting out the Christmas story as it might happen in a North American city today. Cowgirls come visit them instead of shepherds, and they sleep in a parking lot instead of a stable. As I tell the story, Jen goes from being incredulous to accusing me of changing the story to being outraged at people not treating Jesus with respect. When we get to the church, I've convinced Jen that the Christmas story really happened, and we walk into the church, only to find that all the people in the story are there in the nativity scene.

My favorite idea presented in the play was one of its main purposes; to highlight how difficult the whole Christmas story was for the people involved, especially Mary and Joseph. In the play, when Mary tells Joey that she's pregnant, he accuses her of cheating on him and demands the engagement ring back. When Joey is confronted by an angel, he goes back to Mary to beg forgiveness, and it takes a lot of pleading on Joey's part before she's willing to accept the ring back. It's emphasized that Mary had to ride 100km on a donkey while she was nine months pregnant "and Joseph had to walk!" It's a huge deal when there's nowhere for them to stay when they get to Bethlehem, and then Joseph has to deliver the baby himself. Like Jen says, "I don't know why as kids they show us pictures in books of baby Jesus lying in a pile of nicely groomed hay, looking like he's getting the royal treatment. It wasn't that way at all! He was probably lying in a puddle of goat drool or something!" Jesus' birth wasn't just humble; it was painful and humiliating. It was accompanied with the cries of mothers and fathers whose babies were being slaughtered because of the King's fear. The story of Jesus' birth is almost as ugly as it is beautiful, just like the story of his death.

My distance course was Engineering Economics. It was the first course I've ever taken by distance, and I enjoyed the format tremendously. I could pause the professor, eat during class, and watch a class as many times as I wanted. It was sweet having such a flexible schedule. This was also my first economics course, and it will probably be my last. Don't get me wrong, the material was quite interesting, but it's the only economics course that will fit into my schedule until I graduate, and I don't forsee taking another undergraduate degree. I'm really glad this is a required course, because through it, I learned a lot of practical things about how to manage money. When it started, though, I found myself rebelling against nearly everything my professor would say.

My thinking could be exemplified by a psychology experiment I learned about in the True Love Waits Bible study back when Leanne was my youth pastor. A researcher left a child in a room with a marshmellow, telling the child that if after five minutes, he or she had not eaten the marshmellow, they could have two marshmellows. The researchers then recorded which children waited for the second marshmellow. Once the children had grown up, the researchers found them again. They discovered that the children who had waited for the two marshmellows became more successful in their careers and their relationships.

The analogy for the Bible study was that God was leaving us in a world with lots of people we could become romantically involved with, but if we waited, He would give us a better relationship than any of the ones we could find on our own. My analogy for finances, however, was that I could either spend my money on something small now, or I could wait until I had more money so I could buy something better.

The problem with analogies is that they over-simplify the case. If they didn't, they would be allegories. The problem with my finances analogy, as I discovered by taking the economics course, is that money doesn't retain its value. It's like the "Magic Penny" song. Do they sing that in Sunday school anymore? I hope not. That song confused the life out of me. "Hold it tight and you won't have any"? Hold a penny in your fist as long and as tightly as you can. If it magically disappears, kudos to you. If it doesn't, you'll understand why I was confused. Why we teach kids to sing about things they don't understand, I have no idea. It teaches them not to think when they're worshipping. When they become adults, they sing songs like "I Could Sing of Your Love Forever" and never think to actually move when they say "They will dance with joy like we're dancing now"... but that's a topic for another time. The point is that if I don't invest my money, then I'm already wasting it.

Did you know that investing money is Biblical? Try Matthew 25:14-30. Use The Message instead of NIV or KJV. Normally, I'd suggest NIV, but the word "talents" just doesn't mean what it used to. This is a story I still struggle with, but I'm getting more of the picture. Starting off, I definitely would have been on the side of the third servant who buried his money in a hole. The first two guys could have lost the money! Anyway, this is a blog, not a sermon, so I'll leave the further reading up to you, but i think it's an important story.

My time in Calgary has come to an end... for the second time this year. Leaving the first time around was much different than leaving now. Having spent an extra four months here, I've grown a lot closer to people. I've grown used to the schedule of driving in to work with Uncle Kerry in the mornings, coming 'home' to Aunt Cheryl who always asks how my day was, and eating supper while watching Gilmore Girls (well.. maybe haven't gotten used to everything). It's going to be sad not seeing Lindsay and Michael on Fridays for youth group, not talking with the people at Glenmore on Sundays, and not getting together with the Christmas play cast four times a week. It's going to be difficult not having a Bible study anymore, especially after having one that has been such a blessing to me. The hardest difference, though, between leaving the first time and now is that the first time, I knew I was coming back.

Not to end on a sad note, there is much for me to be looking forward to over the next while. I'm going to finally see my parents and my brother again, I'll be getting together with a lot of good friends, and I'll be able to sleep in my own bed again in just a few days. My birthday is coming up, Jesus' birthday is right after that, and then I'm off to the amazing conference called Urbana to do some more God-seeking. Finally, to finish off my travels, I'll be going to see Leanne and Dallas in Ontario for a few days before I get back to MUN for another semester. God lavishes His blessings on us when we ask!

Swan City

2006-11-13T13:38:00.000-07:00

There is no way I can describe last weekend to do it justice. On Thursday evening, I took a 10-hour red-eye Greyhound bus trip to Grande Prairie. I had never been that far north in Alberta. I was there to visit Teresa and Joe. I had worked with Teresa four summers ago at Pine Lake, and although she was one of my closest friends that summer, I haven't seen her since. Three and a half years is a long time to be away from a close friend. I've been in Alberta for nearly a year, and yet we haven't found time to get together until now. Teresa and Joe got married two years ago, and they just had a baby three weeks ago. This was my last opportunity to see them before I go back to Newfoundland, and I wasn't going to pass it up.

The entire weekend was beautiful. I spent an entire afternoon catching up with Teresa, talking about old memories and remarking how things have changed since then. After three years, I was starting to wonder if I'd ever have the opportunity. I wasn't disappointed. It was also wonderful to meet Joe. We spent the majority of the weekend together, and I think we would become good friends if we lived closer to each other. I'm glad Teresa is married to such a great guy.

I'm told that babies are not beautiful until they're a few months old. I most strongly disagree. I spent some time holding baby Noah this weekend, and looking into his eyes, I could not imagine how God's beauty could be more gloriously displayed. If you don't believe me, I have plenty of photos and video to prove it.

I would like to think that I learned a lot this weekend. I certainly thought a lot this weekend. I'm not used to my peers being married or having children, so it was quite the eye-opener. Teresa was crazy when I worked with her at camp. She still is, but it seems that the responsibilities she has accepted (as well as the very sensible and responsible husband she has married) have tempered her and made her much more conscientious and even refined. I was quite impressed at how well they communicated, organized their time, and ran their household. The idea of being in charge of a family boggles my mind, but it seems a much more realistic idea now that I have observed Teresa and Joe. They have certainly changed the way I think about marriage and family.

One important thing I learned is that people don't automatically become different people when they get married or have children. I don't think people can go into those roles quite prepared. I don't see what would prepare anyone. I was also amazed at how long a baby stays a baby. Apparently, a baby needs to learn to smile. To smile! I thought that was something everyone is born knowing how to do. Babies spend so much of their time being whisked through the air in people's arms and being far from the floor. They're comforted by being completely wrapped up in blankets and they prefer to sleep to the noise of people talking rather than silence or recorded music. They're often swung back and forth and don't get sea sick from it. Imagine entering a world where everyone was that much larger than us, where we were kept in an enclosed pod and people never let our feet touch the ground or allowed us some quiet so we could sleep. We'd suffer from claustrophobia, continual headaches, and a complete inability to keep any food down. I hadn't realized that babies are so different than adults.

It is also interesting to think that my parents got married when they were my age. It changes the way I think about myself and my role in life; not that I think I should be married by now, but that I should be that responsible. It also feels weird that the next time I see Noah, he'll probably be walking and talking. I hope it won't be another three and a half years before I see the three of them again. It was difficult to leave. I had spent so much time with their extended family that I felt like I had become a part of it. It made me look forward to Christmas with my family back home even more.

On the bus home, I had some great conversations with random co-passengers. Much better than cat napping. The first conversation was with a very red-haired cowgirl who spent the weekend visiting her new boyfriend on a ranch and getting a huge tattoo on her back. She was sore, but in a pleasant and reflective mood, which is generally good for conversation. She told me that I have to try rattlesnake, alligator, and shark steaks. Her favorite is alligator. I suggested she try haggis. When she got off at Red Deer, I began talking with a first-year Catholic medical student with an affinity for good literature and Wikipedia. You know we had a lot to talk about. We had both read through The Chronicles of Narnia multiple times and had just finished Gulliver's Travels. We compared big-endians and little-endians to Catholics and Protestants, talking about our roles in society and our positions on Eucharist. Christians are pretty diverse! The central beliefs are the same, but the way we live out our faith and the importance we put on things can be quite different. Catholisism - another item on my long list of things I'd like to learn about.

Since I've written so much about this weekend and haven't touched the other things that have happened since my last post, I'll fire the important parts off in point form in conclusion:

1. I attended TRAIN, a Christian leadership conference. I learned about the horrible state of homelessness in Calgary, heard about the accurate pagan references in Harry Potter, and watched an 'illusionist' make his wife and pets disappear and reappear. Quite impressive.

2. I went 'reverse trick-or-treating' (singing Christmas carols instead of taking candy) on Halloween with the South Meadows youth group and dressed up as Strong Sad. I sent in a photo to the Brothers Chaps and they included it in this year's fan costumes toon! Perhaps I should start a weight-loss program. Or a thumb-loss program.

3. I watched the first Will Ferrell movie I have ever seen that I liked. I would recommend "Stranger Than Fiction" to anyone who has not enjoyed his previous movies... and anyone who likes to shake lamps for no apparant reason.

Debating, Praying, and Rejoicing

2006-10-25T08:14:00.000-06:00

God is beautiful, and He shows His beauty in absolutely everything He has created and causes to happen. I've been thinking about the true meanings of words lately, probably because I've been reading The Purpose Driven Life. Rick Warren writes about how many words have been watered down in their meaning; fellowship and membership have been the main ones I've been reading about so far. A lot of words have become synonyms for 'very', and even more have lost all meaning. "He shows His beauty in absolutely everything" is strictly redundant. If God shows his beauty in everything, then what is added by the word "absolutely"?

I used to think about this kind of thing a whole lot more. Back in the days when I would read more than I would have casual conversation with friends, I decided that I would only use words by their dictionary definition, that my sentences would be strictly structured by grammar and truth. I subscribed to that CS Lewis ideal:

Don't use words too big for the subject. Don't say "infinitely" when you mean "very"; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite.

After quite a while of attempting this (and mostly succeeding in it), I realized that people don't generally talk that way. People don't want to talk that way, and when someone tries to follow such rules of thought, it's often mistaken as pride, conservatism, or at the very least, social ineptitude. I then came to the conclusion that I had a choice of how to use my thought during a conversation. I could make sure that everything I said was strictly truthful and accurate both ideally and grammatically, or I could make sure I was speaking in such a way that was enjoyable and empathetic to others. After much internal debate, I decided to let the two struggle within me, but to back the latter as it was the weakest. Sometimes it's good to let personal struggles of ideals continue indefinitely. Sometimes.

Enough with the semantics. Life has been enjoyable since my last post. Youth Together was a wonderful experience. I took two beautiful nature hikes, sat on the dock and watched the waves, prayed a lot, and made some new friends. I read the names Skoch carved in the bell (though I couldn't find mine), had some joyous reunions with old friends, and even had two conversations with Phil Cann. I can't express how much I enjoyed that weekend.

On a related note, if anyone has a good overview picture of any Salvation Army camp (especially Pine Lake), I would really appreciate it if you would send it to me. My e-mail address is on my profile page.

It was great to see Fil and Nav a few Saturdays ago, especially because it will be the only time Fil will be in Calgary all semester. I was glad Phil was able to join us because I was finally able to take some sensible pictures of Phil and Nav rather than the crazy ones from Lindsay and Michael's wedding. The four of us went to a pub. I had never been to a pub before, but us all being Sally Ann's, there was no drinking. I tried haggis for the first time. I tried it because I try every new food I can get my hands on, but I was very impressed. It was probably the best meat I have ever had. I would highly recommend it. Most places in Canada don't cook it in a real sheep's stomach anyway.

Another Saturday, I had a Fawlty Towers marathon. I watched all 12 episodes. Quite enjoyable. Apparently, it placed first in a list made by the British Film Institute of the 100 Greatest British Television Programmes. I had never even heard of the show. My favorite episode was The Kipper and the Corpse.

Two Sundays ago, I had the honour of being one of the 23542614 people to Stand Up against poverty in order to remind governments of their promises to eradicate all extreme poverty by 2012. On "United Nations International day for Poverty", Guinness World Records announced this as a new world record. Go here for more information. I've never been happier to be a number.

Teresa had her baby last Thursday! His name is Noah Derksen and I am practically jumping out of my seat waiting to see him. I haven't seen Teresa since we called her Kwak and she was single, and now she's married and has a baby! I've booked my trip to Grande Prairie for Remembrance Day weekend. I can't wait to see Teresa and meet her family.

I've joined the cast of a Christmas play. The first meeting is tonight. All I've been told about the play so far is that it has been written by Peter and Tim Robinson and that it will be unique. Wasn't that last part obvious?

I leave you now with a Triple Tribond. I figure I haven't done that in a while. In case you weren't around for the first one, the idea is that I give you a list of nine things and the first person to murmer back with the similarity between them all wins an official murmer back from me in congratulations. Ready? Here goes:

Joe DiMaggio
Buddy Ebsen
Clark Gable
Bil Keane
John F Kennedy
Gene Roddenberry
Charles Schulz
Red Skelton
Benjamin Spock

Catching Up

2006-09-25T09:12:00.000-06:00

I've been getting hints from friends that I should update my blog, some more blatant than others. I suppose it has been a month (I consider it a month anyway), and a lot has happened in that month. Where do I begin?

The Leadership Summit went really well. The talk from Bono was very interesting, and although it was the major advertizing point for the weekend, the sessions I really learned from were the ones about church development. There were two opportunities for the dozen or so of us from the Temple to get together and discuss what we had been learning. We talked a lot about vision. In the end, we mostly came to the conclusion that our vision should be passion. That may seem odd, considering that passion is generally what you use to fuel a vision, but it seems that's what our church needs. We have plenty of people who are wonderfully talented and want to be involved, but the opportunities are not... blatant. I almost feel like I'm copping out by moving to Calgary for the semester, but I know I can play my part in prayer rather than presence. In fact, I will probably do more by being here than there, considering that I would be way to busy to help out if I was having a full semester at MUN right now.

Speaking of prayer, I've been really enjoying waiting on God lately. I find that a whole lot easier to do when my schedule isn't full. My Bible reading has been slipping, though. I've been reading Daniel. The last time I read Daniel, I was working at Scotian Glen five summers ago. I was so interested in understanding Old Testament prophesy and how it applied to the New Testament and end times. I often look back on that summer as a trial by fire, but it was really a time of searching and learning fresh lessons from God. I hope next summer will be a similar experience.

Lindsay and Michael's wedding was beautiful. Lindsay, my cousin, has two Newfie parents but never lived in Newfoundland herself. Because of this, my uncle Kerry decided to screech her in... while she was wearing her wedding dress. Aunt Cheryl was so afraid that the cod she had to kiss would drip on her and the dress would be ruined. Fortunately, there were no stains and lots of pictures. The wedding cake was bright blue, four-tiered, and decorated with seashells. That's one amazing cake. It was also fun to see some old friends there and some family I haven't seen in years. We took a bunch of 'once-in-a-lifetime' pictures of groups of family that will most likely only ever be together again for weddings and funerals, if at all.

I am discovering the joys of Photo Bucket. Hopefully that will mean that I can put some photos up here soon to compliment my writing.

My family trip to Vancouver was fun. I enjoyed spending the time with my brother and my parents. Now that I have a digital camera, I was able to take some great pictures of our trip. We saw the oldest phone booth in the world, the largest tractor in the world, and a city that was destroyed by a volcano eruption in less than two minutes. We went on plenty of scenic hikes and enjoyed our last evening at the TELUS World of Science in Vancouver. I have now officially visited every TELUS World of Science location on the map. The last night, we went to a Mongolian restaurant where we payed for our food by weight. If we could guess to the cent how much our meal would cost, we got it free. If we guessed a cent off, we would get it 50% off. Timothy guessed one cent off and I guessed correctly. Timothy's feat is actually more impressive, however. I kinda cheated without realizing that I was cheating. Timothy's was a purely educated guess.

I've been reading Gulliver's Travels, which is an interesting read. I was more than four quarters of the way through before I realized that it was satire. Much of the opinions I believed the author, Jonathan Swift, held were in fact opinions he was mocking. Still, his true views on other subjects are probably unknowingly communicated, such as sexism, racism, and a complete disrespect or misunderstanding of democracy. It seems that he could only understand a society to be anarchist or monarchist, that a society must have a dictatorship in order to be saved from 'savagery'. He makes no distinction between a scientist, an artist, and a philosopher in that there are no defined lines in his writing separating general education into parts. He calls politics, medicine, and astrology all arts and sciences interchangably without making an attempt to mean something different one from the other. There is only the educated and the uneducated in his writing; the apt and the failed. He seems to think false testimony the ultimate vice and uses many words to refer to it, such as perjury and forswearing. He also writes the book on the pretense that it is possible that vast stretches of land have yet to be discovered in the world. It has been wonderful to peek into the mind of a 18th-century Englishman. The next book on my list is "The Purpose Driven Life". I want to have read it by the time I hear Rick Warren speak at Urbana.

I will end this post on a point of great excitement and vigour. Next weekend I am attending Alberta's divisional Youth Councils. There are three wonderful things about this.

1) Phil Cann, the host of Quest, is going to be the guest speaker.
2) I think I'm going to see a lot of friends there. If you're reading this and you're planning on attending, please murmur back to tell me you're going.
3) It's being held at Pine Lake! That deserves an exclamation mark. I've been wanting (and trying) to go back to Pine Lake for years. This is an answer to prayer, I can tell you.

Pirates in Space, the Carribean, and the Sink

2006-08-11T05:43:00.000-06:00

It seems that my monthly summer update is due. This eventuality has been impressed upon me due to the number of my 'readers' who have contacted me thinking that I have been living on my own for the last month or so. Although my brother Timothy is in Ontario all summer, my parents were only gone for ten days. All the same, it was an enjoyable and educational experience.

Today is the second day of the Leadership Summit, a live teleconference with over a hundred sites around the world participating. It is an annual event, but this is the first year that Newfoundland is participating. So far, it has been quite impressive. I have really been surprised by the quality of production, performance, and message. The Summit is mainly for adults, includes many pastors/officers/shepherds/clergy/etc., and many non-Christian business people attend simply for the quality of the speakers and leadership training. Today, Bono is the featured speaker. I'm looking forward to that. There are a bunch of people attending from my corps, and we're meeting to discuss our thoughts from the conference at lunch today. Hopefully this will positively impact our corps in some way.

On a completely unrelated note, I just finished watching the last of Firefly with Zach. I can't believe that they cancelled such an amazing show. Oh well. Apparently Joss Whedon feels that there are still possibilities for movies and new seasons to continue the story, so I hope that will come to fruition.

I have realized that I haven't been tying my posts together here. Mostly, you just get a sporadic splatter of my most recent thoughts. To rectify that, here is a brief overview of the more 'plot intensive' points of my life:

I just finished my fourth academic semester out of eight at MUN, which feels amazing. I now have five weeks to relax and do all the things I had wanted to do while I was in university all summer, which also feels amazing. Three weeks into that wonderful break, I'll be heading to Calgary with my family to take in the joy of Lindsay and Michael's wedding, which is most amazing of all. Lindsay is the oldest of my generation in my family and the first to get married. I am the second oldest, but not the next in line for matrimony. I think Ashley will beat me to that one, what with her dating a superhero and all.

Once the wedding is over and the marriage has begun, I'll be heading down to Vancouver with my family for a week's vacation. When my parents and Timothy fly back to Newfoundland, I'll fly back to Calgary for my third work term. I'll stay with my wonderful relatives there until sometime in December, at which time I'll come home for Christmas just to leave the next day for Urbana in St. Louis.

I think that's enough of a life view for now. I'm told that life can't be planned out as much as I plan it, but somehow that never stops me from planning. To end this month's post, I would like to list out the movies I am most looking forward to seeing (in no particular order).

1. The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: A Veggietales Movie
2. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
3. Spider-Man 3
4. Pirates of the Carribean 3

This is Serenity

2006-07-15T15:41:00.000-06:00

The past ten days have thrown me on a learning curve. I've had a novel experience. With my brother in Ontario and my parents in Maine, it's just been Hopper (my dog), Zach (my friend), and I (myself) at the house. Many people stay at their house without their parents for an extended period of time before they turn twenty. I did not. When I was four years old, my parents decided to take a trip to Montreal for a weekend, so they left me with my great aunt in Nova Scotia. When they came back, I apparently refused to acknowledge their existance. From then on, they've never taken a trip without me... until now. I must say, I've enjoyed myself. Zach and I have been making meals together (something I love doing but rarely have opportunity to do), watching Firefly, listening to 'our music', and drinking lots of Jones.

For those of you who have not had the honour of downing a Jones, I will explain. Jones is a soda that comes in odd flavours (like bubblegum and gravy). Each bottle has a random photo on the label and a random phrase or fortune under the cap. I've been keeping the caps. One day, we got the most awesome caps I've ever seen. As Zach and I sat down for a home-cooked meal and an episode of Firefly, we wrenched off our Jones caps (which is truly the test of a man), and read our fortunes. Mine said "A friend will soon give you a present." His said "Give somebody something". When the episode was over, he gave me his empty bottle.

For my 'serious thought of the month', I have been reading "Wild at Heart". I believe I disagree with the author's view on nearly everything I've read thus far. I probably wouldn't have continued reading it had I not just finished "Blue Like Jazz", in which I learned that it is important for me to be offended by things sometimes; it teaches me where my sensitivities are. I also learn a lot more from people I disagree with. After all, if I agreed with the guy in the first place, I wouldn't have really learned anything. Nonetheless (such a cool word), one of the things he's been talking about in the book is that men can't get "The Answer" from their wives. He talks about "The Answer" a lot. I think what he means by that is a reason to exist, the one that makes you complete. That was important for me to realize, that I can't put all my hopes into a future wife who will turn out to be simply human (that is, if she turns up). As much as I'd like to believe it, people don't suddenly figure out who they're supposed to be because they get married. In fact, that's probably an important thing to do before they get married. I think I'm going to have to find my place in life and the strength to live it alone before I find the one to live it with. And that will be OK.

Beautiful People

2006-06-16T09:00:00.000-06:00

Two days ago, I started to become aware of the fact that people are beautiful. I was walking down a hallway at MUN and an insperandom girl happened to be walking ahead of me. She smelled like marshmellows. I'm not talking about the marshmellows that are kept under my pillow for secret eating. It was like I-can't-believe-it's-not-Jelly-Belly marshmellows. It was sweet. I considered following her, but I figured that would be the first step to becoming a creepy old man with a comb-over, which my friend Catherine tells me would not be good.

Soon after, I was sitting down reading "Blue Like Jazz" and I saw a guy walk up the stairs nearby. I have no idea what was going through his mind, so I can only interpolate by what it looked like he was thinking. It seemed that he saw some long lost friend behind him, so he turned to smile and wave. In mid-wave, his face turned to complete horror as he didn't realize the strength of his mental powers and his energetic wave made his long lost friend explode into tiny pieces. He then hunched his back and covered his face to keep from being recognized by the mystical powers police as he slunk away from the scene. I nearly laughed out loud.

I continued to be amused as I watched a girl talking on her cell-phone. I had seen her before, and I had never considered her terribly attractive. I soon learned that was because I had never seen her smile. She was with someone I can only assume to be her boyfriend, who was kicking her in the stomach and wacking her upside the head while she was talking on her cell-phone. She wasn't feeling... hesitant. She was punching and kick-boxing just as much as he was, and they were both cracking up like they were watching someone make out with a sheet of loose-leaf. I think they're in love. I mean the girl and the guy, not the someone and the sheet of loose-leaf.

Then an African lady came up to the window and started making faces like she thought it was a mirror. That was just crazy-go-nuts.

On a more personal-growth-related note, I've been finding people's lives interesting lately, or rather, I've been finding people interesting when I take an interest in their lives. This may sound like an incredibly obvious statement, but people like to talk about things they like. People grow closer when they talk. I like growing closer to people. The logical course of action is to talk to people about things they like. I've started doing that more lately, and it has been quite grood. I mean good. And great. Great and good.

Three things I would highly recommend:
1. Recognizing the beauty in people.
2. Smiling at people you don't know.
3. Watching Teen Girl Squad.

It's almost over!

Kudos to the first person who can murmur all seven Homestar Runner references in this post.

It's over!

Quick Update

2006-05-27T12:21:00.000-06:00

My life has become quite hectic, as it does every semester I'm at MUN. As I predicted, I have not found time to update my blog since I left Calgary. My semester has been going well so far. I have one professor teaching me two courses at the same time, which has never happened to me before. She bikes to class, is very disorganized, and cares deeply about Africa, animals, and confused students. I like her. My other three courses are taught by separate professors. Two of them are great. One of them may prove a challenge. I have decided that there is no such thing as a difficult course - only a difficult professor.

God is good. I attended Youth Together last weekend and had an awesome time hearing from Dave Overholt, hanging out with friends, winning a Tim Hughes CD, and giving cookies to random people downtown. It was quite the experience, all said.

Mara is absolutely wonderful, in case anybody didn't know. She's incredibly giving. The time and effort she put into this blog is just one example. Didn't she do an awesome job? I'm impressed. I would highly recommend hiring her as a webmaster.

In conclusion:

1. Attending university in the summer is just weird.
2. Way too many of my friends are not living where I'm living.
3. God is still good.

Bumblebees and Staplers

2006-04-23T08:07:00.000-06:00

I must pause here to thank Mara for her awesome HTML work on my blog. It would have taken me a long time to figure out on my own. So thank you, Mara.

The new layout is not, in fact, modeled after bumblebees, but as a blog layout is an artistic expression, I suppose any interpretation is valid. The concept came from the title of the blog, "Into the Silent Planet", which, if you recall from my first post, is a varient of "Out of the Silent Planet", a book by CS Lewis. One publication of the book looks very similar to my current blog layout. There are still a few kinks to work out, but I'm quite pleased with how it has unfolded thus far. I chose this specific cover (out of many versions) because I was always told in art class that yellow should never be used as a dominant color. I try not to follow pointless rules.

My last day of work was two days ago and it finished up really well. They gave me some awesome parting gifts, including a fancy water bottle that looks like a space shuttle and a shiny stapler like I've only dreamed of.

WARNING: My blog postings may become infrequent or even come to a halt over the next few months. Rest assured that if such a trajedy occurs, it is most likely due to the fact that I am at university and am spending all my time studying. Do not be alarmed. After all, it's just a blog.

Evangelical Me

2006-04-19T07:46:00.000-06:00

No surprises here.

You scored as Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan. You are an evangelical in the Wesleyan tradition. You believe that God's grace enables you to choose to believe in him, even though you yourself are totally depraved. The gift of the Holy Spirit gives you assurance of your salvation, and he also enables you to live the life of obedience to which God has called us. You are influenced heavly by John Wesley and the Methodists.

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan

93%

Emergent/Postmodern

71%

Charismatic/Pentecostal

68%

Classical Liberal

50%

Neo orthodox

43%

Fundamentalist

43%

Reformed Evangelical

39%

Modern Liberal

29%

Roman Catholic

18%

What's" your theological worldview?

Two Weeks

2006-04-13T16:30:00.000-06:00

It started to set in today that I'm going to be home in literally two weeks. I can hardly believe it. I've spent three months living in Calgary, renewing old friendships, creating new ones, and spending time with family I rarely see otherwise. It has been an incredible experience. I have gone headbanging and moshing at the university with the McLeods. I have discussed microwaves with Jason at Glenmore. I have inspected millipedes with Laura at the Science Centre. I have fallen asleep watching a movie with Stefan at his appartment. I have driven in Dorothy with Rene. I have spilt Vietnamese tea at the Bagolac Saigon with Fil. I have buried Michael in the sand at the Volley Dome. I have destroyed food packaging at the zoo with Amanda. I have run like crazy in the mall with John Carl. I have worn out leg muscles in the mountains with Phil. I have wandered aimlessly in Banff with Allison. I have sung Veggietales songs at Centre Street with Kyla. I have watched endless episodes of Gilmore Girls at home with Aunt Cheryl. I have cranked stereos with Uncle Kerry in front of huge TV's. I have cooked strange and exciting dishes with Lindsay. I have listened to and discussed Relient K CD's on a couch with Ashley. I have thought about Africa at Bible study with Joey. I have watched too few Survivor episodes with the Robinsons. I have shared long, and long awaited, hugs with Angie. I have walked and talked with Mara nearly everywhere. I have even listened to Skoch sing the names of random girls at Rocky. For any of you who are reading this, thank you for making this time so wonderful. I have loved it from beginning to end. Although I now miss my home, I will soon miss you.

Black and White

2006-04-10T12:36:00.000-06:00

One of my favorite things to do with a free day on the calendar is to have a movie theme day. My first theme was Star Trek. I invited a few friends up and watched all six of the original Star Trek movies in one day. We had Star Trek themed meals and we even dressed up. Since that fateful day, I have held two other Star Trek days, one Matrix day, one Lord of the Rings day, and two Star Wars days. They are so much fun, if you don't mind drinking Klingon blood wine, dressing up as Agent Smith, and watching movies for hours on end.

This weekend, I had nothing planned for Saturday, so I decided to have a Black and White day. I got up bright and early, put on all black and white clothes, and began the festivities. I started with two movies starring Audrey Hepburn; "Sabrina", followed by "Roman Holiday". I then went on to watch "Schindler's List". I hadn't seen either of these movies before, and I was quite impressed with them. I have a weak spot for black and white movies, my favorites being "The Gold Rush", "The Great Dictator", and "Have Rocket, Will Travel".

In case you might be wondering, I did not have themed meals. Black and white foods are very hard to find. I suppose I could have chowed down on marshmallows and black licorice all day, but that probably would have turned my intestines black and my face white after a while.

Triple Tribond

2006-04-07T09:09:00.000-06:00

Normally in Tribond, one names three things that have something in common and others are made to guess what the commonality might be. I'm going to cut you some slack and give you three times three (3 x 3 = 9) things. The first person who answers correctly will receive a personally typed comment of congratulations from yours truly. Here are the triple three things:

Scott Adams
Muhammad Ali
William Booth
Albert Einstein
Benjamin Franklin
Adolf Hitler
Avril Lavigne
William Shatner
Mark Twain

Let the races begin!

Not a Heritic

2006-04-06T09:14:00.000-06:00

This was a quiz that was going around a long time ago. I finally decided that my 'quiz break' had served its time and I was ready to indulge. Here are my results:

You scored as Chalcedon compliant. You are Chalcedon compliant. Congratulations, you're not a heretic. You believe that Jesus is truly God and truly man and like us in every respect, apart from sin. Officially approved in 451.

Chalcedon compliant

100%

Monophysitism

67%

Apollanarian

33%

Nestorianism

33%

Modalism

33%

Socinianism

33%

Pelagianism

17%

Arianism

Docetism

Adoptionist

Donatism

Albigensianism

Monarchianism

Gnosticism

Are you a heretic?
created with QuizFarm.com

To tell you the truth, I half expected that the quiz would tell me that I was a heritic. I thought I would score much higher on modalism, because I view the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as I view my head, torso, and legs. They all co-exist, but they're all God. In other words, I don't feel comfortable with the phrase, "One Being, Three Persons", because I don't feel that the difference between a being and a person in the context of God has been clearly identified. I would be much happier with "One Being, Three Parts", or even "One Person, Three Parts". Apparently I tend towards being a Monophysitist, which makes sense too. I like the idea of a composite nature in Jesus, however I think that composite nature could have pre-existed.

Oh, the joys of ancient theology.

Cutting Up The Bible

2006-04-04T16:27:00.000-06:00

Mara loves to share fun quizes that explain something about one's self. It's an enjoyable trait. She recently asked me to decide which books of the Bible I would keep if I could only keep one in each of the following categories:

Pentateuch: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy
Historical Books: Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1 Samuel, 2 Samuel, 1 Kings, 1 Chronicles, 2 Chronicles, Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther,
Wisdom Books: Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Solomon, Lamentations
Major Prophets: Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, Daniel
Minor Prophets: Hosea, Joel, Amos, Obadiah, Jonah, Micah, Nahum, Habakkuk, Zephaniah, Haggai, Zechariah, Malachi
Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke, John
Pauline Epistles: Romans, 1 Corinthians, 2 Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, 1 Thessolonians, 2 Thessolonians, 1 Timothy, 2 Timothy, Titus, Philemon
General Epistles: Hebrews, James, 1 Peter, 2 Peter, 1 John, 2 John, 3 John, Jude
Anything: either something in the categories already mentioned, Acts, or Revelation

This would reduce the Bible to only nine books. My choices were Genesis, Ruth, Psalms, Daniel, Jonah, John, Romans, Hebrews, and James. The choices that Mara and I had in common were Genesis, Psalms, and Romans. The books that were most difficult for me to give up were Isaiah, Jeremiah, Luke, Acts, 2 Corinthians, and Philippians, but especially Luke and Acts. I think I chose the books I did because I like the books that tell stories and have concrete lessons. If you'd like to write your choices on a comment, I'd love to read them.

William, Wilbur, and Wikipedia

2006-03-31T16:40:00.000-07:00

I am about to say something that I never thought I ever would. I've been slightly bored with reading lately. Isn't that odd? I've always enjoyed reading, but I've just been doing it so much lately. In the past two months, I have read nine books. Normally, that would take me a year or more. I've had so much free time. I really can't complain. I've enjoyed the time to relax, the time to hang out with friends, and the time to wait on God in 'silence'.

I have decided to take a little break from intense reading for a while. Instead, I've been writing and editing Wikipedia articles. It has been fairly educational. Apparently, William and Catherine Booth's first son became the second General of the Salvation Army, while their second son started his own organization called Volunteers of America.

Because I don't want to get away from reading altogether, I've decided to pick up some lighter books. I'm planning on reading a few books by EB White, starting with Charlotte's Web.

Time Travel

2006-03-29T11:13:00.000-07:00

This week, my mind has drifted to time travel. This is most likely due to the fact that I have been reading "The Time Machine" by HG Wells. I've never read anything by him before, but I'd like to, now that I've finished this one. It was quite interesting. Apparently, it was this book that started the idea of purposeful and directed time travel in the sci-fi community. Before this, 'time travel' books were simply about psychological time travel experiences, such as recalling past lives, or divine interventions. The advent of the popularization of the idea of technological time travel is attributed to him. When read in that light, it makes the story quite ingenious.

The elevators at my office look like they could be time machines. The buttons are labelled as follows:

5
4
3
2
G

Everytime I go from the fifth floor to the ground floor, I can't help but think, "I can count to G!". If this puzzles you, you definitely haven't been watching enough Teen Girl Squad.

If you could travel to any time period just to observe, which one would you choose? Would you witness the dawn of creation? Perhaps a visit to the Hanging Gardens of Babylon around 600 BC? How about going to 802701 AD to see how accurate HG Wells' predictions were? As for me, I think I'd go back to 1497 AD to see where John Cabot first landed. I would like to know if it really was Newfoundland that was the first part of North America discovered by the early modern Europeans, or whether it was Nova Scotia or Maine.

Speaking of time, lunchtime is coming up in a few minutes, and you know what they say about lunchtime.

Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.
- Ford Prefect, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

The Fourth Love

2006-03-28T08:55:00.000-07:00

I love my family. I don't think any of them read my blog, but I'd like to state that here anyway.

Mom is coming up to see me before I go back to Newfoundland. Dad has encouraged me and 'heckled' me every time I've talked with him since I moved here. Timothy has asked me to help him with homework over the phone. Uncle Kerry shares his excitement with me whenever he does something new. Aunt Cheryl asks me how my day was every time I come home. Lindsay made me a salmon sandwich for my lunch today. Ashley gave me some of her delicious fudge last night.

The things I have mentioned about them are not the greatest things they have ever done for me or the most important points in our relationships, but they are what have reminded me of their love in recent days.

I love my family.

Firsts with Phil

2006-03-27T16:22:00.000-07:00

I had been looking forward to this past weekend for a long time. I had Friday off, and I had two exciting possibilities lined up for Saturday. I could go to Edmonton with the Rocky Mountain Bible College students or I could go to Banff with the Glenmore Temple youth group. Due to unfortunate circumstances, the Banff trip was cancelled and I was too late to buy the ticket to Edmonton. I went into the weekend a little sad.

Then, unexpectedly, Phil invited me to go snowshoeing! It was a lot of fun. The scenery was absolutely amazing. I loved the mountains and I loved the trees. It was so warm that we were walking around without jackets or hoodies, and yet it was lightly snowing. It was so beautiful. The actual snowshoeing became tiring after a while, and I have been quite sore since. I'm still glad I went. It was worth it even if only for the view of the mountains.

Afterwards, Phil, Allison, and I went to Banff, so I guess that did work out in the end. We had a great meal at a place called Barpa Bill's Souvlaki. They served Lamb and Calamari, and everything either in or with a pita. What more can you ask?

This weekend, I experienced three things for the first time - Banff and snowshoeing I have already mentioned. The third was seeing a Lynx. Phil has named himself "the man of firsts" since people tend to do things for the first time when they're with him. It almost sounds like James Kirk - "the man who cheated death"; or Harry Potter - "the boy who lived".

Good times.

Analysing Randomness

2006-03-20T16:29:00.000-07:00

You guessed it, I finished another book; "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland". It was an enjoyable little read, but not what I had expected in the least. I plan on reading "Through the Looking Glass" next.

I find it interesting how randomness expresses itself in different people, books, and movies. "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" is random in the sense that completely unexpected things that don't make sense happen at expected intervals while there is a definite plot. "Time Bandits" is random in the sense that unexpected things that don't make sense happen at expected intervals while there is only the outline of a plot. "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" is random in the sense that unexpected things that don't make sense happen at expected intervals while there is no plot. "Napoleon Dynomite" is random in the sense that unexpected things that do make sense happen at unexpected intervals while there is a loose plot. "Peter Pan" is random in the sense that expected things that don't make sense happen constantly while there is a visible plot. "Paint by Numbers" is random in every sense.

I will explain.

Flying pigs are expected because of the phrase "when pigs can fly", but they don't make sense. A hippopotamus wearing a tutu makes sense because it is possible to fabricate such a tutu and put it on a hippopotamus, but it is not expected. Seeing a four-leaf clover rarely happens because it is a genetic anomaly, but it is expected. Winning the lottery is unexpected, but it happens regularly. Duplicated photons created by transporting them so fast that they arrive before they are sent don't make sense, but they happen every time. Albinism is rare, but it make sense. Willy Wonka's flashbacks in "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" are unexpected, but they have meaning. Piggy's glasses in "Lord of the Flies" have no meaning, but they are expected. The talking animals in "Animal Farm" don't make sense, but they have meaning. R2-D2's name has no meaning, but it makes sense. Finding dinosaur bones is rare, but it has meaning. Finally, the shaping of the clouds has no meaning, but it happens all the time. These things are all random in different ways.

If I haven't lost you already, I would like to explain this understanding of randomness so as to divide it into its varied forms explicitly. I propose...

The Purdian Theory of Randomness

A thing is random if and only if it is either a) unexpected, b) impossible, c) rare or irregularly timed, or d) meaningless. Categories of randomness follow from these possibilities.

Insperandomness: unexpected randomness

Futurandomness: impossible randomness

Rarandomness: irregular randomness

Nequarandomness: meaningless randomness (self-described)

Inspefuturandomness: unexpected and impossible

Insperarandomness: unexpected and irregular

Inspenequarandomness: unexpected and meaningless (the name)

Futurarandomness: impossible and irregular

Futunequarandomness: impossible and meaningless

Ranequarandomness: irregular and meaningless (joke)

Inspefuturarandomness: unexpected, impossible, and irregular

Inspefutunequarandomness: unexpected, impossible, and meaningless

Insperanequarandomness: unexpected, irregular, and meaningless

Futuranequarandomness: impossible, irregular, and meaningless

Inspefuturanequarandomness: unexpected, impossible, irregular, and meaningless

Thus concludes my theory on randomness. If you have actually taken the time to read through all this nonsense, I salute you. We both have way too much time on our hands.

What We Have Learned

2006-03-17T14:10:00.000-07:00

I would like to list here the things I learned yesterday:

1. Pub is short for public house.
2. A publican is someone who runs a pub - either that, or a taxcollector in the Roman empire.
3. Phil Vischer no longer owns Big Idea.
4. Discernment is a spiritual gift, not an inbred skill.
5. ATM machines are difficult to find.

I learned lessons 1 and 2 from reading "In Darkest England and the Way Out" - William Booth's scheme for saving the poor and outcast of London. It was long, but very educational and motivational. It is also free on the Jesus Army website.

I learned lessons 3 and 4 from reading "What Happened to Big Idea?", which was probably the longest 'article' I have ever read. It basically explained how the company started as one of God's big ideas and how eventually, Phil Vischer decided to make it his own bigger idea until it exploded. The company nearly went bankrupt to keep up with Phil's bigger idea, so he was forced to sell out to a larger company. In case you're a Veggietales fan and you're worried about the voice of Bob, Phil still does voices and writes for Veggietales, but he doesn't run the company anymore. Although it's run by a secular company now, some of its most blatantly Christian movies have been made under its new direction. The main thought I took from the article was that ambition, even with good intentions and God in mind, is God-less. Decisions and plans need to be soaked in prayer, and God's will should be sought before God's service. We can do everything with Him and nothing without Him.

I learned lession 5 the hard way.

The Watermelon Hunter

2006-03-16T15:28:00.000-07:00

I spent some of this week watching "Anne of Green Gables" and its sequel. Interesting movies. I was almost certain that I would dislike them after watching for the first half hour. By the time I had finished, though, I can say that I really enjoyed them. I may pick up the books sometime. They teach a good lesson about cantankerousness. I once played Gilbert Blythe in a short high school play, which is interesting, because after having watched the movies, I find very few similarities between us.

I had never seen an episode of Survivor until I came to Calgary. Now, what with the Bible study, I haven't missed an episode. I figured I'd tolerate Survivor in order to attend the Bible study, but I've gotten interested in it. I'll have to finish watching the season when I go back to Newfoundland.

I've been reading "Compassion: A Reflection on the Christian Life" latley. One of the stories imployed in the novel was "The Watermelon Hunter", a Sufi tale. It's fairly short, so I'll include it here:

Once upon a time there was a man who strayed from his own country into the world known as the Land of Fools. He soon saw a number of people flying in terror from a field where they had been trying to reap wheat. "There is a monster in that field," they told him. He looked, and saw that the "monster" was merely a watermelon.

He offered to kill the "monster" for them. When he had cut the melon from its stalk, he took a slice and began to eat it. The people became even more terrified of him than they had been of the melon. They drove him away with pitchforks, crying, "He will kill us next, unless we get rid of him."

It so happened that shortly afterward another man also strayed into the Land of Fools. But instead of offering to help the people with the "monster," he agreed with them that it must be dangerous, and by tiptoeing away from it with them he gained their confidence. He spent a long time with them in their homes until he could teach them, little by little, the basic facts which would enable them not only to lose their fear of melons, but eventually to cultivate melons themselves.

That really made me think. Hopefully it stirred up some brain waves with you too.

Call to Urbana

2006-03-15T09:30:00.000-07:00

I think I've done enough quizzes to last me a long time. They were enjoyable all the same.

I would like to devote my post today to Urbana. I'm really hoping that I will be able to convince at least one of my friends to go with me this year. It's the largest missions conference in the world, and it is held every three years. It started in Toronto back in 1946, but it was then moved to Urbana-Champaigne, Illinois where it remained until 2003, the year I attended. Urbana 2006 will be held in St. Louis, Missouri. It runs from the evening of December 27th to midnight on December 31st. The conference consists of two general sessions each day, time in between for customized sessions or exhibit viewing, and a small group Bible study each night. There are always a bunch of interesting speakers, and this year, one of them will be Rick Warren, author of "The Purpose Driven Life". The most amazing thing about the conference is probably the worship. Being in a stadium filled with more than twenty thousand people all praising God is absolutely incredible. It's also a great place to seek God's leading for the future if you are considering some kind of missions work.

If you are thinking about attending Urbana, feel free to contact me, visit the website, or view the webcast from 2003. If you decide to go, please contact me. I would love to connect with you.

Star Trek Quiz #3

2006-03-14T09:36:00.000-07:00

You scored as Jean-Luc Picard. You're the thinking man, Captain Picard! You are solitary and intellectual but can be daring and exciting in your own way. You will probably go bald, get assimilated by the Borg and smash a glass cabinet of little ships sometime in the future...

Jean-Luc Picard

50%

Kathryn Janeway

38%

James T Kirk

19%

Benjamin Sisko

13%

Which Star Trek captain are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Star Trek Quiz #2

2006-03-14T09:22:00.000-07:00

You scored as Data. You are logical, highly intellegent and unemotional. You wish you understood other people more, but you find computers easier to work with.

Data

87%

Geordi LaForge

80%

Deanna Troi

73%

Jean Luc Picard

53%

William T. Riker

40%

Worf

33%

Beverly Crusher

27%

Which Star Trek: the Next Generation character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Star Trek Quiz #1

2006-03-14T09:05:00.000-07:00

You scored as Federation. You Are The Federation, You prefer to be alone and learn. You enjoy helping people and know how to talk things up. You would help people into the spotlight before yourself

Federation

75%

Vulcan

70%

Borg

55%

Cardassian

25%

Dominion

20%

Romulan

15%

Klingon

15%

Ferengi

What Star Trek Species Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

My First Blog Quiz

2006-03-13T09:34:00.000-07:00

You're Yoda

You are wise beyond your years — a sage for the ages, the master's master. That's why your Star Wars type is Yoda. Sure, you might not look too much like the little green Jedi Master, but you have a quiet contemplative way about you that commands respect.

People trust you, especially your friends who are constantly coming to you for advice and sometimes predictions. While you may not be able to tell them who's going to win the big game, you do possess the rare ability to see the big picture. You never lose sight of the fact that we're all part of a greater whole. It keeps you grounded and balanced, and it's the perfect cover for a mischievous sense of humor that always catches others off-guard. This mix of wisdom and impish delight promises to bring you long life...another thousand years or so anyway.

The Classic Star Wars Test
Brought to you by Tickle

Criticising Criticism

2006-03-08T16:37:00.000-07:00

Looking at the results of my Johari window so far, it doesn't seem that I know myself all that well - which is what I had suspected, so I'm glad that people are telling me. I considered getting a Nohari window too (a negative attributes window), but I figured that it is not the best way to receive criticism. I'm still unsure about criticism. I've talked with Mara about this, and it was a big topic when I worked at Camp Mountainview, but I haven't drawn any 'conclusions' (you know what I mean). Is it a good thing to confront people about sin? Is it a good thing to tell people about their unconsious shortcomings if you would want them to do the same for you? It's a difficult topic, but a very practical one compared to most debates I get into.

Warning: Spoiler for "The Great Gatsby" to follow. If you have not read "The Great Gatsby", wish to, and dislike people telling you about a book before you've read it (as I do), skip the italics.

This topic has been rolling around in my mind this week because of "The Great Gatsby". The story follows Nick as he is a witness to many people doing immoral things, such as cheating, lying, commiting adultry, and lastly, killing. In the end, Nick says nothing, so no one is punished for what they have done, no one learns from their mistakes, and everyone is left feeling that they are pretty good people who simply came accross unfortunate circumstances.

So what do you think? Should we confront people about sin? If so, when?

Johari Window

2006-03-07T08:13:00.000-07:00

I've been reminded over the past few days how important it is for me to know my own strengths and weaknesses, my own paterns of doing things, and my typical reactions in various situations. Sometimes I find that it is easier for me to think of the things I am not good at because I want to be humble and I want to become a better person. I don't want to boast and be proud. Sometimes, especially after being praised for something, I forget my weaknesses. Nevertheless, I should have a full view of myself, the positive and the negative, so that I know what to work on and when to step up to the plate.

Mara and Amanda created Johari windows last week so that others could tell them what they thought their most evident attributes are. I have done the same. Please visit my Johari window and leave your thoughts. I'd love to know what you think I am. For those of you who do not know me as Neelix, I had to use a unique name and Neelix was my camp name at Pine Lake three years ago.

"I am not what I think I am. I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am."
- Bleiberg and Leubling

The Community's Guide to the Gatsby

2006-03-06T10:09:00.000-07:00

I have finished a book every day for the past three days. I'm loving how much time I've been getting to read lately. The three books are "The Great Gatsby", "Community in Mission", and "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". "The Great Gatsby" is the first ebook I have ever read. I had no idea that so many wonderful books are offered for free on the Internet. I plan on starting "Peter Pan" next. Equally monumental, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" is the first audio book I have ever 'read'. Lagging behind, technologically speaking, "Community in Mission" is a lowly paperback. I think these books indicate the three types of books I read; classics, Christian, and sci-fi.

If you would like to join an on-line discussion of "The Great Gatsby", check out my friend Lynette's blog. If you are interested in the goings-on of The Salvation Army as discussed in "Community in Mission", try Lynette's other blog. If you would like to learn more about "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", Lynette doesn't have a blog to suit you.

[h]i miss brown

2006-02-28T14:34:00.000-07:00

i've talked a lot about mara, but i don't like eating toothpaste, so this is a tribute to the very little i know of fil [read: miss brown] or at least how i think when i read her blog. trust me, this will be the only time i do this.

==========================================

here is a list of things that are lovely to me:

one - fancy pencil sharpeners
two - free hot chocolate
three - ummm.... moshing
four - kleenex and neelix are only an ike apart
five - lists

==========================================

m and w are standing around doing nothing. d just got inspired to look at art.

w: can i help you with anything?

d: no. i just saw it and decided to come in.

w: thank you.

...

m: you look like you're thinking.

...

d: thanks for the lookaround.

==========================================

ps - i don't make hurtful metallic-threaded underwear and i don't own a goat antelope.

the janitor was singing indian-sounding songs in the bathroom i was using. i'll have to visit india sometime when i have a wife so that there will be a credible witness to my eating of exotic foods. i know someone visiting india. he shouldn't try the foods. his wife isn't there to witness.

in other news, i'm enjoying having a beard-ish thing. growing facial hair is like doing something with your appearance and not doing something with your appearance at the same time. and its fun.

==========================================

opinions are immunity to being told you're wrong
paper, rock, and sissors, they all have their pros and cons
and all of us we will endure like we always have
but you just can't be to sure how long this will last

-the only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one, relient k

Abnormally Tagged

2006-02-27T08:28:00.000-07:00

After reading all these posts on other people's blogs saying "I got tagged," I have finally been tagged myself, but in a round about way. Mara cheated and tagged everyone who read her post on February 3rd. Oh well. All is fair in love and blogs, as it were. Here I go:

Four jobs I've had:

1. Tutor with French for the Future and the Newfoundland Government
2. Camp Counsellor at Scotian Glen, Pine Lake, and Mountainview
3. Youth Service Corps Member for the Salvation Army
4. Work Term Student with Lotek Wireless and Jacobs Engineering

Four movies I can watch over and over:

1. Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe
2. Peter Pan
3. The Newsies
4. Mary Poppins

Four places I've lived:

1. St. John's, Newfoundland (for a few months)
2. Paradise, Newfoundland
3. Pictou County, Nova Scotia (for one month)
4. Calgary, Alberta (for one month so far)

Four t.v. shows I love:

1. Star Trek (any version)
2. The Waltons
3. Get Smart
4. Bucky O' Hare

Four places I've vacationed:

1. Florida, USA
2. California, USA
3. Nassau, Bahamas (for a few hours)
4. St. Pierre, France

Four of my favourite dishes:

1. Fettucini Alfredo (thanks to General Penner)
2. Turkey Fritters (my dad's specialty)
3. Beaver Tails (the pastry, not the meat)
4. Lobster

Four sites I visit daily:

1. Hotmail
2. Squirrel Mail
3. Homestar Runner
4. Reverend Fun

Four places I'd rather be right now:

1. Jerusalem, Israel
2. London, United Kingdom
3. Paris, France
4. Rome, Italy

Four bloggers I am tagging:

1. Jen Rowsell
2. Lesley Cunningham
3. Deborah Barrow
4. Jenn Slous

Since the only confirmed readers of my blog so far are Mara and Amanda, I really don't know whether these four people will ever find out that I tagged them. But such is the life of a blogger.

Survivor Bible Study

2006-02-26T18:24:00.000-07:00

A lot of my thoughts over the past few weeks have originated or been developed at a Bible study I have been attending. Wow. That was really a thought in the middle of a conversation. Let me back track.

Back in Newfoundland, I was very busy with university last semester, and I therefore neglected my former Bible study with my youth group at the St. John's Temple. When I moved to Calgary in January, I knew that I would have evenings and weekends mostly free. Now that I would have ample time, I hoped to find a Bible study to attend. Thankfully, there were many options. All of the extended family members with whom I am currently staying took part of small groups at Glenmore Temple. Aunt Cheryl and Uncle Kerry attend one about leadership. My cousin Lindsay attends one on Sundays while my cousin Ashley attends one on Mondays. As if that were not enough, Lindsay's fiancé, Michael, leads a Bible study as well (him being the youth pastor at Glenmore and all). These Bible studies all consisted of people I knew and enjoyed being with. The only problem with these Bible studies was that they had all already started, and I would therefore be missing the first portion of the study.

One day on the way home from work, I seemed to recognize someone at the train station. I suddenly realized that this was Peter, my program director from my Pine Lake days. I quickly ran up to him as my train arrived and fortunately, we were taking the same train. We talked for a while, he told me that he got married to a girl named Amanda since we had last seen each other, and I told him about my work term in Calgary. It was wonderful to see another old friend. Before my stop came, I remembered that I had heard that Peter was leading a Bible study. I asked him about it, and he said that it was starting that night! At this, I got pretty excited. Unfortunately, I had already made plans with Ashley that night, but when I got home, Ashley was too busy with school work, so I went to the Bible Study. Alicia and Courtney (two sisters I also worked with at Pine Lake), and their dad were kind enough to offer me a ride, and I was off to the races.

The Bible study has been going really well. It consists of an hour of watching Survivor (which I have never before seen), and an hour of studying Acts. It has been great to make some new friends there, meet Peter's new wife, and explore some theological concepts.

And so, I return to my initial statement. Because of the Survivor Bible Study, I have been asking a lot of questions about the differences between Biblical times and today; of the Holy Spirit, the church, and individual Christians. Why do we not see the Holy Spirit manifesting itself as tongues of fire as happened at the Pentecost? Why has the structure of the church changed so much from the template of the early church that grew so rapidly? How could the apostles so confidently heal the lame beggar at the temple gates, and why do we not practice radical healing today?

As a side note, I try to stay away from the word 'conclude' when talking about answers to questions. I have only concluded about what is core to my existance - that God is Good, that He created me, that I sinned, that He died in my place, and that by grace through faith, I will now live with Him for eternity. This is what I have concluded. Everything else, I only believe, and all of my beliefs (as opposed to my conclusions) can be changed. Some things I believe strongly, but all of my beliefs are up for my personal questioning.

Having made the distinction between conclusions and beliefs, I believe that the answer to my questions is adaptability. The Holy Spirit works as He knows will be in the best interests of the Kingdom; in a society where the supernatural is viewed as being indicative of power and truth, the Holy Spirit seems to appear in physical forms and in other spectacular ways. In a society showy instant healings are viewed as hoaxes used to scam money, it is unlikely that this is the best route for the communication of the gospel.

This concept is rather new to me, and has been greatly helped along in my mind by Valerie (my youth pastor back home), Peter, Mara, and a book I have been reading called, "Community in Mission: A Salvationist Ecclesiology". The book is a little dry, but it explains why the Salvation Army is what is and does what it does - some of which I have never learned before and really feel should be common knowledge among Salvationists.

So that's my story for today; my third post. I think I'm going to start alternating between these serious posts and silly web games - we'll see.

My First Blog Game

2006-02-23T12:42:00.000-07:00

I was inspired today by reading Mara's post from October 25th, 2005. She wrote:

"go to google, type in "[your first name] needs" and search. oh, put your first name in there, not [your first name]. the latter doesn't yield very interesting stuff. list your top ten results."

I followed her advice and this is what I came up with (with some necessary editing):

David needs to become more tolerant.
I can see someone telling me this - but I'm not all for tolerance in the strictest sense.

David needs dusting often.
I don't think I'm that lazy.

David needs no introduction.
Thank you.

David needs your prayers.
I always appreciate your prayers.

David needs help.
I get by with a little help from my friends.

David needs to roar with pride.
I think I'll leave the roaring and the pride to the lions.

David needs to learn to shave.
Timothy would heartily agree.

David needs much better than this.
No way! God blesses me far beyond what I deserve.

David needs a student.
Interesting thought. I'm a student myself.

David needs to work hard and practice and go to tournaments.
I wonder what I'm supposed to be working hard and practicing in order to go to tournaments.

And finally, just because you did, Mara, here's my "good measure" one:

David needs 500 signatures to get on the ballot.
I sure hope I don't get 500 comments on this post. I'd get 1000 e-mails in my inbox!

That was fun. Feel free to do the same on your blog - just be sure to tell me about it.

Thus, my second post is... posted. Maybe next time I'll write something that makes sense.

The Last Drops of the Thundershower

2006-02-16T16:07:00.000-07:00

You may be wondering why I started this blog. Am I jumping on the bandwagon, as Valerie so eloquently put it? Although the phrase probably applies, my reasoning is closer to Leslie's; I was reading so many wonderful thoughts in the blogs my friends have written that I wanted to leave comments telling them how much they had blessed me or made me think. Also, I wanted to hear what other people think about the things I think about. Please feel free to comment with your opinions. That's the main reason I'm starting this blog - to find out what other people think.

You may also be wondering about the title I have chosen - Into the Silent Planet. Firstly, this is a fail-safe on my part. I don't know how much I will use this blog, so silence seemed like a safe title. If I rarely blog, than you can't say I didn't warn you. Also, Out of the Silent Planet is the name of a book by CS Lewis, my favorite author. I haven't read it yet, but I plan on delving into it. You may think that a pitiful reason to change the title from "Out of" to "Into". Perhaps I have some ingenious philosophical reason for changing the words. Perhaps the title "Out of the Silent Planet" was already taken. You will never know.

The main reason for the title of my blog is that silence is the subject that God has most been teaching me about lately. It seems that God's been impressing this on Deborah's heart too, by the look of her blog. Waiting on God in silence and contenting yourself in His... it's much harder than I had thought. I've heard about the value of resting in His presence, but I'm slow in finding the value myself. I believe it's an important part of His character, though, and so I'm think it's best to make it important in my prayer life as well.

If you have not read the book "Red Moon Rising," I would highly recommend it. Although its readership is not specific to any denomination, I find that it is especially encouraging and convicting for Salvationists. It has become my favorite book, and I don't switch favorites easily. This book started my thinking about silence.

To conclude my blog (or begin it), I would like to thank you for finding my thoughts worthy of consideration. I look forward to reading yours.